Friday, December 14, 2012

On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...

Three things that I always do

Everyone has their idiosyncrasies (and I did not realise that was how you spelt that word); I have exactly three.  That’s handy, because  today is the third day of Christmas, and I have apparently decided to make lists all the way up to Chrissy day.  Hats off to me.

  1.  If I suggest to someone to go and see a movie that has just opened, and it turns out that the movie is actually a bit shit, (I have since learned that “this is Adam Sandler’s best film since Big Daddy” is hardly a glowing endorsement), I feel really bad for making them sit through two hours of drivel, and quite responsible that the movie was as shit as it was.  Battlefield Earth, the Fantastic Four, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (is that really what it was called?), The Dark Knight Rises – all my fault, and I wholeheartedly apologise.  I don’t know what I was thinking.  Sorry everyone.
  2. I catch a lift about 4 times a day, and every time I get out of it, I turn the wrong way.  Sometimes I pretend that I’m dancing so it looks like my sudden change in direction is intentional, but mostly I just swear and walk the right way.  I also check my watch.  I don’t know why.  If I carried a yo-yo, I’d probably whip that out too.
  3. When my stapler runs out of staples, I’ll keep clicking it against the pages that I am trying to staple together, just in case there’s a rogue staple hiding somewhere in the back who is hell-bent on not being a part of the corporate game.  That staple had dreams, man, and it didn’t involve this pencil-pushing bullshit in the war machine that is selling your soul to earn a living.  Then I just refill my stapler and get on with my day and try not to let it show that sometimes I wish I was more like that staple.


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E.B. said...

You're a public servant; don't you have someone to staple things for you? And also, I have no idea what the comment above mine means.