Darius’ retirement was about as significant as if I rang Dominos Pizza on a Friday night to announce “Nothing for me tonight thanks. I’m cooking schnitzels!”
At least now old man Boyd can concentrate on spending the rest of his contact (four more years) at the Broncos trying to regrow his hamstrings and avoiding physical contact. Hmmm. Maybe Darius is smarter than I give him credit for.
Parramatta Eels vs South Sydney Rabbitohs
Well fuck me, Parramatta notched up a win last week. Well done to them. I'm sure the memories of beating the 2018 Cowboys will keep them warm at night.
North Queensland Cowboys vs NZ Warriors
Our Kiwi brethren found some form last week in giving Manly a wee thumping. They will change things up this week by fucken desmolishing the Cows.
Sydney City Roosters vs Penrith Panthers
I still don't rate the Roosters and I'm not even sorry about it.
Canterbury Bulldogs vs Gold Coast Titans
Other than the obvious "Who fucking cares?" this game will raise very few questions and provide even fewer answers.
St George Dragons vs Manly Sea Eagles
Hopefully the Dragons can reclaim some of their early season form, because there are not many things better than seeing Manly take a good beating.
Cronulla Sharkies vs Brisbane Gronks
I hope the stadium gets hit by asteroids and they call the game off, to be honest. There aren't too many more unlikeable teams than these two packs of arseholes. Uuuh go Sharks.
Newcastle Knights vs Melbourne Storm
I'll take the obvious route here and say "go stroms" but I'm about as confident as Michael J Fox eating soup.
Wests Tigers vs Stupid Fucking Raiders
The Tigers are sitting in 9th spot, with a for and against of +1. The Raiders are sitting in 10th spot with a for and against of 0. This game will likely be a one-point thriller, with a final score of 1-0.
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