Honestly, Benji, you need to take yourself a bit more seriously. I mean, you’re a football player. That is your profession. Don’t be modest, tiger, being a football player is a really important job. You really shouldn’t make your decision to stop playing football so lightly; I mean, fuck man, the world just won’t be the same without you playing football professionally.
Here’s some news for you, Benji “Ethan Hawke” Marshall – as a general rule, everyone fucking hates their job. Not many people get paid to fuck around on a field for 80 minutes a week, while spending the rest of their week at the gym, going to footy training and playing video games. If you’re sick of the politics of being the top commodity in someone else’s organisation and want to keep your integrity, go and sort mail in the basement of a new business. Go and cook burgers for minimum wage. Learn a trade. Become useful.
Last Friday night, the Tigers were beaten by the Warriors 24-14 in Benji Marshall’s final home-ground appearance. The crowd was respectful to Benj, who obviously like him a whole lot more than I do (it’s not hard though, to be perfectly Francis). I guess even a (very small) part of me wanted Benji to do something in the game, but as time ticked by, he kept trying new and spectacular things to no avail. And here’s why – no one knew what the fuck he was doing out there… including Benji. When his flick-passes and behind-the-back shenanigans work, it’s not just because of Benji; it’s because his teammates are reading the play and running the right lines. When he just starts throwing 40-metre cut-out passes without looking and hoping to fuck that his winger is just there to run onto it, it’s horrible. And while Benji is undoubtedly a good player, I think the Tigers will be better off with someone else in the play-maker’s number six jersey.
But that’s just me, and I’m a bitter man.
Cowboys vs Broncos
Bulldogs vs Eels
Titans vs Rabbitohs
Warriors vs Storm
Sharks vs Panthers
Knights vs Roosters
Tigers vs Sea Eagles
A couple of headaches this week with a whole lot of shit teams playing each other, namely Brissy and the Cowboys. I’m going for the Cowboys, simply because you have to go for someone, and they’ll do.
The Rabbits should bounce back from last week’s shock loss… Inglis is still out with a mystery knee injury that could keep him out for another few weeks – if Souths are actually struggling to win games because their fullback is missing, they should probably rethink the other twelve idiots on the field.
Everyone else blah blah blah, shouldn’t throw up too many surprises, but it probably will anyway. I’m still not sure how the Eels are still getting Friday night games televised every week.
of the week
Dragons vs Raiders
The St George Dragons recently signed young Raiders halfback Sam Williams, bringing the total number of ex-Canberrans donning the Red V up to seven. I guess buying an entire club’s players is one way to break a sporting hoodoo, but it’s probably not the best way.
This week is the first chance that the Raiders will have to play against disgraced/disgraceful ex-player Josh Dugan. It will also be the first reunion of Blake Ferguson and Josh Dugan following a night that got Fergo booted from the NSW Origin side, dropped from the Raiders and kind of arrested. I would love to give ol’ Blakey the benefit of the doubt and say that the weekend will pass by without incident, but I don’t actually think that will happen, and Mr Ferguson will be joining Benji Marshall in the dole queue next Monday.
As for the actual outcome of the match, I think Duges will try too hard (also like Benji) in proving that he was hard done by when he was released by the Raiders, and MY GOD I hope that story is true when it says that he won’t be welcome to have a beer with them after the game. Sometimes people just need to sit back and reflect on their decisions in life. Like in Return of the Jedi, when Jabba the Hutt is strangled to death by Princess Leia, he probably thought, “I wish I hadn’t have picked her to be a slave.” Similarly, Josh Dugan will hopefully say to a closed Raiders’ dressing room door in front of him, “I wish I wasn’t such a fuckwit.”
Raiders by 13, because I love field goals.