The top eight is still being shaped, with all but two teams (suck shit Roosters and Titans, you dickheads! NERRRR) still being mathematical chances to participate in the finals series. Seriously.
MEB's highlight predictions for the round:
Paul Gallen will be playing so shit-hot that he will quite literally burst into flames. While it will make him almost impossible to tackle, it will also kill him.
Scientists will discover that Todd Carney doesn’t actually squint; he just doesn’t have any eyes.
Mat Rogers will celebrate his 78th birthday with another Titans loss. He’ll thank the same people four times and tell them about the time he was room-mates with Phil Waugh, who he will keep calling “Steve.”
Jarryd Hayne will headbutt Billy Slater. Again. After the game, everyone will tell him that he’s a massive tool. Hayne won't care and will take new shirtless photos of himself for his Facebook page.
Brisbane Broncos vs Cronulla Sharks
Manly Sea Eagles vs Wests Tigers
Sydney Roosters vs Canterbury Bulldogs
North Queensland Cowboys vs Penrith Panthers
Newcastle Knights vs Gold Coast Titans
St George-Illawarra Dragons vs South Sydney Rabbitohs
Parramatta Eels vs Melbourne Storm
Game de round:
New Zealand Warriors vs Canberra Raiders
I am a staunch Canberra fan (just because I don’t tip them and call them big nancy blouse-wearing girls doesn’t mean I don’t like them), but when they can beat a team like the Dragons and yet lose miserably to the Storm and the Tigers by massive margins, it makes it a difficult task to remain faithful.
This week, they’re in like Flynn. Their season is hanging by a very thin, very frail ginger pube (everyone knows it’s Tonguey’s, but he’s denying it), which is when the mighty Green Machine plays their best footy. Plus, the Warriors have won their last three games and are probably due to suck. It’s kind of what they do. Inconsistency is a key part of their game plan.
Worst. Limbo. Ever.
MEB cumulative score: 86