Spoonbowl is on – with three
rounds to go, there are still six teams who are threatening to take the prize
that no one wants; last place. That
includes the Raiders, who just last week could have made the top eight if
they’d won. Crazy, no? Looking at all six teams, they will all be in
the running for being the NRL’s worst fucking team of the year until the final
round, depending on results. Luckily for
the mighty fucking Green Machine, the Raiders have the best chance of escaping
the dreaded spoon, as their next three games are against three teams below them
– which is a feat in itself when you’re tied for second last.
Round 24
Dragons vs Panthers
Penrith could use that wooden
spoon to stir a nice big pot of chicken soup so they can all feel better. Benji Marshall is back for the Dragons, if
that means anything anymore. I'll tip the Dragons, but only just. The desperation to keep off the bottom of the ladder will be a huge incentive for the Panfers.
Souths vs Doggies
No Sutton or Keary for Souths
means this fucker will be a bit tricky to tip.
Issaac Luke getting let go by the judiciary for a pretty ordinary hit just
adds to the confusion of what actually constitutes a shoulder charge. “Was it late?” “Yep.”
“A bit shouldery?” “Yes, quite shouldery
indeed.” “No charge, here’s $20 for a
cab, sorry to waste your time. If you
leave now, you’ll make it home in time for House Husbands.” Of course, this just means that Luke is going
to do something much, much more stupid this week. Anyway, I am going for the Dogs. I still can’t trust Souths… and when you
trust Canterbury-Bankstown more than someone, you know there’s trouble.
Cronulla vs Tigers
The Sharks were brought back to
earth (or sea) last week with a thumping from the Storm, and the Tigers managed
to fall to the Knights… somehow… so both teams will be looking to save face,
keep in touch with the top eight/stay off the bottom of the ladder, and
actually show that they’re not as bad as they were last week. As a result, this game gets the Mister Evil
Breakfast Dangerous Upset Game of the Round Stamp (MEBDUGOTRS). I’m tipping the Sharks, but without too much
confidence.
Warriors vs Cowboys
The Cowboys are meant to win, and
the Warriors are destined to lose… which means that a solid 18 point win for
the Warriors is on the cards. Fucked if
I’m tipping them though; they look like absolute dick at the moment. And not good dick, if you know what I
mean. I don’t know what I mean.
Roosters vs Broncos
Could be the game of the season –
the last time these dickheads played each other, the NRL world went into a
complete meltdown about the quality and speed of the game, and it was branded
an “instant classic” and will probably be available to watch on Foxtel on one
of the sports channels next year. Whether
or not this one lives up to those lofty heights is anyone’s guess, as is the
winner. I’m going for the Roosters, but
only fucking just.
Titans vs Raiders
The Raiders were kind of robbed
last week against Manly, but were once again punished for not playing out the
full eighty minutes. With a 26 degree
day forecast, the Canberra forwards could tire a bit more quickly than usual,
giving the Titans about thirty minutes to win this one. Canberra should still manage to scrape
through by about 12.
Manly vs Parramatta
The Eels gave a right good ol’
scare to the Roosters last week by leading for about 95% of the game before
doing what we expected and capitulating badly to go down by 10. Manly are probably a bit lucky to still have
their season going, and will defend this one to the bitter end. Any time Manly wins is a bit bitter.
Storm
vs Knights
I’m going to pull out the ol’
MEBDUGOTRS again for this game, as it has my sirens ringing in all the wrong
ways. Not enough for me to tip Newcastle
against Melbourne though. I mean, come
on. Gidley. Nuff said.
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