Friday, April 30, 2010

NRL Round Eight: Ignore my iambic pentameter please.

Jarrod Sammut isn't playing in the NRL this year after being poached by the New Zealand Ballet

In the interest of keeping tipping fresh and hilarious (and I’m bored and don’t want to do work today), this week I am going to write my tips in limerick form.

Broncos vs Knights
The Broncs and the Knights both suck,
Two teams who are down on their luck,
They can’t pass nor catch
Who will win this match?
Honestly I don’t give a fuck.
(but for the record, I’m tipping Brisbane)

Eels vs Bulldogs
There once was a man named Hayne,
Who last year was top of his game.
But his form is down
The Mayor of Struggletown
But I’m tipping the Eels all the same.

Warriors vs Raiders
They’re bad and mean
The Green Machine.
At least the first line is right
But on Saturday night
They’ll be back in the winning routine.

Titans vs Panthers
Both teams are, to be perfectly Francis,
Playing out of their skin
I’m tipping Panthers to win.
Hold me closer, tiny dancer.

Cowboys vs Storm
The Storm are playing for pride
And the Cows are just along for the ride
Will Thurston’s facial hair
Inspire the Queensland flair?
My tip is Melbs to take this in their stride.

Dragons vs Sharks
Nothing much rhymes with Dragons
Which is a problem, because I used the word “Dragons”
As the first line
In this rhyme
Which means the second and last line also have to rhyme with Dragons.

Tigers vs Roosters
There once was a guy from Easts
Who pissed on another guy’s feet
He ran from the cops
And broke into a shop
And set fire to someone's arse on NYE.
(Go Tigers, but my tip is for the Roosters)

Rabbits vs Manly
Last week, South Sydney were down
Until half-time turned them around,
Manly lost fightin’
To a clash of the Titans
This one is game of the round.
(Go Souths).

I’m not going to do that again.

Boom shake shake shake the room – tip tip tip tip Boom.

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