Thursday, April 09, 2009

Mister Tipster Evilster Breakfaster

Rugby League fights are settled by nose wars, rather than fisticuffs

Well, last week's drinking and tipping experiment didn't really work (but it was fun). It was good to see the Mighty Bloody Raiders break the drought to bring up their first win of the season, and it also marked the first week of the NRL in recent years that no-one had any new rape allegations brought upon them. So well done everyone.

Eels vs Dragons
Ooooh this will be a tough one to call, especially considering I don't care. Parra's halfback Brett "Junior Rat" Finch jumped ship yesterday, or was pushed, or lost his jumper, or got a job at K-Mart or something... in any case, he's not playing for the FishySnakes anymore, which has left punters all over Australia wondering whether that's a good thing or not. This game will go down to the wire, and will be won and lost in the scrum. Who am I kidding? St George to win, even though I hate them.

Sharks vs Raiders
Seriously, the only team between the Raiders and premiership glory now are the Eels, Dragons, Cowboys, Titans, Storm, Panthers, Knights, Warriors, Manly, the Tigers, Bulldogs and Souths. See who's not in there? Yeah, the Sharks. Wait, let me double check that. Yep, the Sharks. Easy win to Canberra and the Raiders will continue their dominance. Tonguey to bag a double.

Cowboys vs Titans
It's the CLASH OF THE TITANS... and the Cowboys. The Cowboys did their very best to lose last week against the Raiders, and I'd be lying if I said I had any interest in anything that the Titans are doing, so I'll tip the Cowboys, just because I like the cut of their gib.

Storm vs Panthers
Hmm. This is one of those ones where the Storm should have no trouble in wrapping up these kitty cats and posting them to Bosnia, but it will probably turn out a whole lot harder than they thought. Panthers could easily spark an upset here. But the Storm could just as easily win it in a trot. Eh. This one's up to you, but I'm tipping the Storm. I also think their jersey is quite pretty.

Knights vs Warriors
Newcastle seem to be the quiet achievers of the NRL in the early rounds. But as we all know, quiet achievers all turn into little smart-arsed pricks and deserve their comeuppance. And that comeuppance will be served by the Warriors, with a side of calamari and chilli mayo sauce. Nice.

Manly vs Tigers
Come on Manly, I've tipped you all freakin year, except for the other week when I did but I didn't mean to (my gut feeling was right; I just thought I'd had too much cheese). The Tigers have been up and down lately - last week they were down; I'm tipping them to be up again this week. Manly will welcome back Brett Stewart fresh from prison, but I don't think he'll be the catalyst that Manly are desperate for. Tiges to win.

Bulldogs vs Rabbitohs
Since it's Easter, the Bunnies will have the upperhand in this game. Souths have been fairly impressive this year - which is evident by them being on top of the ladder. The Bulldogs have been... well... I have no idea. To be honest, I didn't even realise that they were still playing. This game will probably suck. Souths by a trillion and one.
Don't forget to put your tips in... and don't forget to get some sips in. Not necessarily in that order.

4 comments:

Aunty Jack said...

fuck you mister evil breakfast. you've just jinxed the rabbits. If they lose on monday I'm going to come round to your house and rip your bloody arms off!

Mister Evil Breakfast said...

Dear Aunty Jack,

Good luck finding my house - I'm taking the number off my door as we speak.

Also, if you do come, can you bring beer?

Thanks tiger.

love MEB

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