Welcome home, Todd Carney!

A special thanks to “Anonymous” who left a lovely message in the comments section last week:  Hey MEB, Will you be holding a banner/sign at next weeks game at Berra Stadium? I would love to hear your suggestions of interesting & amusing slogans the crowd should use in the theme of your mate Todd.

My sign, as always, reads “Play better, Raiders.”  I’ve had that sign since 1995, and I just know that one day they will read it and heed its advice.

This week though, in honour of our prodigal son, Todd Carney, who will be returning with the Sharkies to take on the might of the Green Machine, I am organising the “Carney Army” to take up section 42 (or wherever I decide to park my arse for the day).  We are loyal Carney supporters, and we show this by setting fire to the spectators in the rows in front of us and extinguishing the flames with our piss.   

From Friday night's Bulldogs v Manly game, the security staff stopped fans bringing in any banners about Des Hasler.  I'm assuming that the Canberra guards may do a similar thing (but probably not).  In any case, they may take our banners, but they'll never take our Todd Songs:

Our Favourite Player

Toddy's our favourite player

Whichever logo’s on his back.

We don’t care who he plays for

As long as he’s got new tatts.

Carney's our favourite player

If he wears the six or one.

Or if he’s pissing on my leg

Or setting fire to my bum.

Todd Carney's our favourite player

He really is a gem

He loves a drink and a drink and a drink and a drink and a drink

Please give him the Dally M!

Carn Carney

Carn Carney, carn you good thing! 

Carn Carney, kick for your right wing!

Carn Carney, run fast and run far!

Carn Carney, let’s see you drive a car.

Carn Carney, carn you good thing!

Carn Carney, this is what we sing.

Carn Carney, tell us all what you’ve learned.

Carn Carney, let's go to Goulburn.

Toddy

Todd Carney is a sight to see

When he plays the game.

Todd Carney is a sight to see

Trying to sign his name.

Todd Carney loves to kick the ball

And play for brand new teams.

We’re all wondering who he’ll pick

Next year in 2013. 

Drive

Todd Carney drives players in tackles

Todd Carney drives the ball when he kicks

Todd Carney drives cars into phone stores

And takes camera phone shots of his dick.

Love

We love you Todd Carney forever

Regardless of your club

And because you've been banned from driving (three times)

We'll take you to the pub. 

Words and music by Mister Evil Breakfast