Following the kick-off of
representative football, we’re back to our regular programming with the rest of
Round 8. The ANZAC test betwixt the
Kangaroos and the Kiwis failed to get my excitement levels too far above “meh”
and two out of the three Australian tries were fairly rubbish pieces of play,
while the best NZ effort was a 90-metre intercept. All in all, I’d say the best thing that
happened was Billy Slater being sin-binned for being a massive dirty cheat, and
Daly Chery-Evans being forced to sit on the bench all night and watch everyone
else have fun because he’s from Manly.
That’s probably not entirely the reason, but I’d do it to him. I’d actually do it to the entire Manly
team. Then I’d make them all watch that
Zac Efron movie. In 3D. Twice.
And pay for it themselves. And
not on a Tuesday. Then I’d make them
recycle their 3D glasses afterwards just in case they thought “Hey, at least I
managed to keep my 3D glasses! Maybe
this wasn’t such a bad day after all.”
So Big Willie Fucking Mason is back…
again. No one knows why, and the
majority of the NRL community is pretending that he doesn’t exist in the hope
that he will go away, kind of like what the AFL is doing to Israel Folau. I also have it on good authority that the
Newcastle Knights’ CEO woke up fairly hungover one Saturday morning, and upon
checking his computer, realised that he’d sent a lot of Facebook friend
requests to his high school girlfriend, was banned from The Voice talkback
forums and had bought an acoustic guitar and Willie Mason on eBay. When asked about his Friday night, he offered
this response:
“While my online comments towards
Delta Goodrem may have been seen as the ramblings of a drunken, malicious and
ill-informed person, I stand by my claim that Rachael would have been better
suited to be a part of Seal’s coaching team.
As to my guitar purchase; simply put, I have always wanted to learn
guitar, and I actually thought I was buying Willie Nelson, not Willie
Mason. If Mason cannot teach me to play
the guitar, I don’t know what we’ll do with him.” He declined comment on his Facebook actions.
Round Eight:
St George-Illawarra Dragons v Sydney Roosters
Melbourne Storm v New Zealand Warriors
Brisbane Broncos v Gold Coast Titans
Bulldogs v Manly Sea Eagles
South Sydney Rabbitohs v North Queensland Cowboys
Parramatta Eels v Wests Tigers
Newcastle Knights v Penrith Panthers
There’s always the danger of
having an upset due to the stupid rep games, but I’m going fairly safe at this
stage. A couple of coin-flips for Souths
vs Nth Queensland and Canterbury
vs Manly were required, but I got there in the end. Lucky I use my double-headed coin for those
ones.
Game of the Round:
Canberra Raiders v Sharks
Oh Raiders. Raiders Raiders Raiders. Honestly. What are we going to do with you? Not tip you, is what I’m doing. I still love you though.
The Sharks have been surprisingly
good this year, and seem to be one of the form teams in the comp. The Raiders, on the other hand, are a bit
shit, and aren’t helping themselves with injuries, bad options, dropped balls
and a horrendous kicking game. However,
their “shit game / good game / shit game” season is swinging back in their
favour, and they could surprise everyone.
Probably not though.
One motivation they might have is
the homecoming of Toddwink P. Carney (the P stands for Pissingonpeopleatthepub
– it might be a family name, or has German background; I’m not sure). Everyone in the world would just love to have
the opportunity to destroy that little squinty fucker.
Sam Williams opts to bench press a footy instead of weights
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