After last week’s foray into the seedy underworld of gambling, I came out with $86.84 of pretend money from tipping five games correctly. If I continue like this, I should be a self-made millionaire by the end of Round 16.
Let’s roll onto this week’s tips:
Bulldogs vs Tigers
I really really really really really really don’t like the Bulldogs (except for that Morris guy, I think he’s alright). I have no feelings about the Tigers (except for Lote, I think he’s a douche). My tip goes the way of the striped cat this week.
Eels vs Storm
The Eels will be hungry for this one – they lost to the dirty cheating Mexican thieves in the Grand Final last year and think they (a) have a point to prove, and (b) can beat the Storm and win bragging rights. Even if Parra had an extra $700,000 to spend on players, they’d just give pay rises to Hayne and Hindmarsh and they’d lose all the same. Storm Storm Storm.
Panthers vs Knights
If you’re a betting man (like me), the Knights would be a juicy pick. But if you’re a smart man (like me), you’d stick with the Panthers. If you’re a good looking bloke (like me), it wouldn’t matter, because I’m probably more good lookinger than you.
Roosters vs Sharks
They might have to employ the mercy rule for this puppy – the Roosters should be able to rack up about fifteen cricket scores on the Sharks. I think Carney will be in for a quick-fire thirty odd and then chime in for a few cheap wickets with his gentle medium pacers on a flat pitch.
Warriors vs Dragons
There’s not much room left on the Dragons bandwagon, but if you get in now, I’ll save you a seat.
Raiders vs Titans
It’s the CLASH OF THE TITANS… and the Raiders. Sorry about missing that last week. I don’t see anyone beating the Raiders this weekend, to be perfectly Francis. They’re at home, I might even be at the game (which is enough to inspire anyone), and it’s probably going to be ball-numbingly cold, which may affect Matt Rogers’ greasy hair and Scott Prince will be missing his palm trees. Raiders by at least 40, and I’m not even kidding.
Manly vs Broncos
That fucking Folou fuckwit can go fuck himself in the fucking ear. Fucking dick fuck. Manly to win and Fuckbag McFuckfuck deserves every fucking piece of dirty play that Manly can muster (and they can muster a lot). There’s a lot riding on Israel Folau’s kicking game in this one.
Rabbits vs Cowboys
Sorry Cows, but your year of shit is going to continue. I do enjoy watching Souths play – they have an odd mix of the biggest blokes in the world playing alongside some people who I’d be fairly confident in fighting (without a crowbar). The lads in myrtle and crimson to win this by at least 20.
Let's talk about tips, baby.
A hug from Rusty is all anyone ever really needs