Thursday, February 22, 2007

Mr Football presents...

Carlton Football Club

Once a great club, now a basket case. Carlton has 'won' the last two wooden spoons, and three in five years. This was after a hundred odd years of never having received one. It will require a hell of a lot of luck to not see them finish last again, because they certainly don't have the skill to get off the bottom.

Acting president Stephen "Sticks" Kernahan said, "we are on the bottom - we can't go too much lower". The sad truth is they can; they can be relocated to the Gold Coast or Western Sydney.

Carlton was not always like this, they were once powerful, successful and rich. Now even the South Sydney Rabbithos laugh at them.

A series of events took place that caused the most almighty fuck up in Australian sporting history.

They were:

- They tried to buy a premiership and in doing so broke salary cap restrictions.
- They lied to the AFL about breaking the restrictions and were punished
- Their attempt to buy a premiership was a dismal failure, they 'won' the wooden spoon instead
- They ended up with the most expensive squad in the AFL that was also the worst
- They AFL fined them and banned them from the draft
- Because they were on the bottom of the ladder they lost membership and sponsorship revenue
- Because they had no draft picks they can't rebuild their list, which was already the worst in the league
- Because they couldn't rebuild their list they couldn't win games and attract members and sponsors
- They hired the most expensive coach in the AFL who they could not afford
- The players and the board hate the coach but when they tried to sack him they realised they couldn't afford to pay out his contract
- The coach knows the board and players hate him so his heart is really not in the job

Carlton now has a 9 million dollar debt, the worst list, a ineffectual board and coach that couldn't give a rats arse about the club or the players.
The club is in a worse state then Fitzroy and South Melbourne were in when they were relocated.

Prediction 16th

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