Some
great news for Rugby Union fans from the NRL this week – Sonny Bill Williamshas committed to staying with rugby league and the Sydney City Roosters for the
2014 season, so we can expect him to be pissing off back to New Zealand to pick
up his All Black’s jersey around March.
In
other traditional news, another high-profile NRL player was charged with offensivebehaviour while out and about in Kings Cross, as David “The Wolfman” Williams
found himself in a spot of bother this week.
My favourite
part of this story is undoubtedly the line "It is understood that Williams’ teammate Justin Horo and
Manly’s assistant coach Andrew Johns were also out on the night with Williams." Good ol’
Andrew Johns. Not only is he a massive
dickhole of a commentator, a shit coach and completely rubbish as a media
personality, he’s a massive dickhole, shit and a completely
rubbish bloke.
Good player, but.
A recent survey from some dickheads also found that
Australians thought that the Cronulla Sharks were the most deceitful club inAustralian sport. If someone asked me
that question, I don’t think I would automatically go for Cronulla; to be honest,
sometimes I kind of forget that they exist at all. Surely the Melbourne Storm and the Canterbury
Bulldogs are a bit shit in that department, you know, by way of breaching the
salary cap and having to hand over premierships and all that? All the Sharks have done is bring in Todd
Carney, who brought in a whole lot of drugs.
It was always going to happen.
In
other key results:
*
South Sydney fullback Greg Inglis is regarded as the most competitive
Australian athlete, winning ahead of stars like tennis ace Sam Stosur and
cyclist Cadel Evans. Playing 80 minutes
of footy is a bit different to the competitiveness of flogging a bike around
France, but I’ll just agree with the masses.
I’m sure Sam Stosur is as competitive as anyone though. Except when it comes to tennis.
*
Newcastle fullback Darius Boyd is considered the most "fake"
leaguie. I don’t even know what this
means. He definitely exists.
*
Penrith are the most unappealing NRL club.
Has nobody heard of Manly?
*
Sonny Bill Williams is league’s best looker.
I think this means that he is the “best looking league player.” I wouldn’t disagree, only because if Sonny
ever finds out that I don’t rate him, he’ll beat me up and have his way with
me. Also, I’ll be making jokes about how
shit he is for leaving his club while he does it. Then I’ll make fun of how rubbish union is
while he’s cuddling me afterwards.
Union
is shit though, seriously. If we have
learned nothing else from the series between the British and Irish Lions and
the Australian and Other Places Wallabies, it’s that union is shit. Israel Falou scored with his first touch in
international rugby, which would make it about his third touch in rugby
overall. He bamboozled the defence by
running at them, instead of booting the ball into the eighth row of the crowd,
spitting on the ground and then clapping himself for doing so. Well done, Izzy. You’re a true “athlete.”
Round 17:
The
Storm screwed me out of a perfect round last week. I blame Cooper Cronk. But I’ll tip them this week, because they’re
playing the Broncos.
Tiges
to continue their good form, Panthers to sneak home against the Titans (who I’d
also forgotten existed), and Manly to hopefully show up when they host the
Eels. No guarantees though, it’s
Manly.
Storm v Broncos
Sharks v Tigers
Dragons v Roosters
Titans v Panthers
Bulldogs v Knights
Rabbitohs v Warriors
Sea Eagles v
Eels
Game of the Round:
Raiders v Cowboys
Last week, the Raiders had their
first, last and only televised game for the NRL season. They didn’t go so well, narrowly going down
to the Rabbitohs by 34 points. I’m still
not sure how Canberra can only rack up one televised game per year – there are
75 games involving 150 teams in a 16 team competition should probably be spread
around a bit better. Parramatta, who are
still at good odds to take out last place, have four more games being televised
this year, after having about a thOUsand matches shown already. Canberra do have a couple of Saturday
afternoon games coming up, in contrast to the recent trend of Saturday night
romps.
An NRL spokesperson said, “At this
stage we are not considering making Saturday afternoon football an ongoing part
of the NRL match schedule. There is,
however, a curiosity both on our part and of our broadcasters to see how fans
respond to the timeslot, both in terms of game-day attendance and TV ratings.” Here’s a prediction, dickhead – ratings will
suck, because the games aren’t being televised.
As for this week, I’m tipping the
Raiders for absolutely no fucking reason at all. They’re playing like shit, and the Cowbs are
playing well. It makes no sense, but
this game – THIS GAME – will be the one that turns the Green Machine season
around. So help me God.
Remember when Josh Dugan fought a midget?
No comments:
Post a Comment