Another weekend of upsets (and a few stupid decisions by me) spoiled the applecart of footy tipping last week – Parramatta won another game against a top-eight opponent (it’s funny what a team can do when Jarryd Hayne is far, far away), St George did enough (i.e. something) to continue Melbourne’s shithouse form over the last two months, and Cronulla are determined not to make the top eight this year… again.
In a bid to awaken the sleeping giant of the Melbourne Storm, the NRL keep feeding them shit teams to play in order to get some wins up, a bit of confidence back, and a challenge at the top of the ladder. It hasn’t worked as yet, with losses to the Eels and St George, but I really, really hope they can roll the Panthers this week. If not, well… who will stop Canterbury then? And no one really wants the Bulldogs to win, do they? Just imagine the 2013 season being dominated by Canterbury supporters doing the “Doggies!” crotch dance and yelling, “We won the comp last year, hey?!” when the Dogs inevitably have a shithouse season next year and you’re shouting at them to “shut the fuck up,” “look at the scoreboard, dickheads,” “don’t talk about my mother,” and “it’s nice that you and your boyfriend go for the same team.” Seriously, it’s going to (almost) be worse than when Manly won last year.
Sydney Roosters vs St George-Illawarra Dragons
Melbourne Storm vs Penrith Panthers
Newcastle Knights vs Bulldogs
North Queensland Cowboys vs Manly Sea Eagles
New Zealand Warriors vs Sharks
Gold Coast Titans vs South Sydney Rabbitohs
Wests Tigers vs Parramatta Eels
A game to keep an eye on (or two eyes, if you’re like me and get dizzy when you wear an eyepatch for too long) this week is the CLASH OF THE TITANS and the Bunnies, the two form teams of the comp at the moment. I really hope that Soufs can get up though, because I really, really despise the Titans. I’m also liking North Queensland to give a royal XXXX mid-strength drubbing to Manly, and the Sharks to find some rare end-of-season form to officially piss the Warriors’ season off.
Game of the Round:
Canberra Raiders vs Brisbane Broncos
Canberra Appreciation Month will kick off officially this weekend with a home-ground desmolishment of the Brisbane “Thanks For Coming” Broncos, who will be welcomed by a Green Machine that’s been switched
on to “kill.” The Raiders were unlucky last week in going down to Newcastle, but their job was not made any easier by the referee who continued to award tries to the Knights as the day went on. The Raiders’ comeback was at least 74 minutes too late and 24 points too few. They will have learned a lot from that game, and the Broncs should be worried.
Brissy went down in a screaming heap by 20 points against Parramatta last week. Read that sentence again; it’s the sort of thing you tell chronically-diseased orphans as they watch their home burn down to keep their spirits up. I don’t see anything but a regulation MEBCAM celebration for the Raiders this weekend. Bet your burning house on it.
Laurie Daley's playing shorts. If you look closely, you can see exactly where his groin muscle exploded.