Friday, September 16, 2011

NRL 2011 Finals Week 2: It's almost cricket season

Where has this week gone? In a drunken haze. Oh yeah. According to a calendar that I nicked from the newsagent (I had to get the fireman one, didn’t I?), a whole week has elapsed. In that time, two teams from the NRL comp have been given the arse (hahah suck shit Newcastle, you losers), with another couple to join them on the great burning scrapheap that is finals footy.

There really hasn’t been much to write about this week; Todd Carney is keeping remarkably quiet as he practices writing an “X” in the “sign here” bit on his Cronulla contract, which always keeps things fairly low-key. The biggest news of the week was when NRL Supreme Ruler Dave Gallop got booed by Melbourne fans when he awarded them the minor premiership. Fucking Melbourne dickheads – they really don’t understand sport at all, do they?

But even that wasn’t enough to stop Australians everywhere (but mostly in Australia) from getting all “Aaaaw yeah!” on themselves as they high-fived each other following Samantha “Yessdad I yam lookin aftr meslf” Stosur’s victory in some tennis match. To be perfectly Francine, it’s about time she fucking won. It’s her job, after all.

Finals week two:
Wests Tigers
vs New Zealand Warriors
Brisbane Broncos vs St George-Illawarra Dragons

As much as I like the Warriors, I think they’re going to get rubbed out this week. To make things worse, they’re going to get done by the fucking Tigers. I can’t think of a worse team to fuck you over, honestly. God they shit me, and I don’t even know why. It’s probably mostly to do with that Marshall bloke, he seems like a bit of a dick. And he is basically the only player on the Tigers team, right? Right. (Don’t write to me with the fucking Tigers playing roster either, I just don’t care).

The Dragons have been less than impressive lately, and despite me trying to explain it last week (I convinced myself, so that was something), I’m no longer buying their bullshit and they should lose to the Broncs. Easy as.

Game of the round:
Eh. One of the ones above. There’s only two to choose from. You can pick one.

Upset of the round:
Slide a sneaky lobster on the Warriors. It’s pay week, you can get a bit extravagant.

What are the Raiders doing?
Hopefully washing my car. God knows they owe it to me.

Have you ever seen Jarryd Hayne and the Indian deity Vishnu in the same place at the same time? Of course not, and this is why.

MEB cumulative score: 121

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