I do love it when my most favouritest person in the whole wide world splashes his gormless mug across the country’s newspapers; lucky for me, Todd Carney is a shit magnet. This time, Todd and the Sydney Roosters have parted ways following constant off-field shenanigans and general on-field shittiness. By all reports, the split was 'amiable' and at the very least, it meant that Todd learned a new word this week.
This news has left the rugby league community scratching their collective noodles wondering, “What next for this pillar of society?” There are two main schools of thought (and I never thought I’d use that phrase in relation to Carney) about his future:
This news has left the rugby league community scratching their collective noodles wondering, “What next for this pillar of society?” There are two main schools of thought (and I never thought I’d use that phrase in relation to Carney) about his future:
- One is that you just fuck him off and send him on the first manned expedition into the sun.
- The other is that ‘the kid needs help.’
I’m all about firing up the NASA rockets again, personally. For one, Todd Carney is not ‘a kid.’ He is 25 years old. Since the age of fuck-knows, he has no doubt got away with doing little work for huge reward based on his skills as a footy player. I’d be surprised if he can tie his own shoelaces, to be perfectly honest. Whenever he fucked up in the past, someone was there to make sure he was picked up, brushed off, bailed out, paid off, and everything kept all hush-hush because Todd’s just a kid and doesn’t know any better.
Life’s fucked when you’re an adult, hey Todd? Time to stop looking around for someone to throw you a lifeline, tiger, and get yourself sorted out. It’s not up to your club, your mum, the town of Goulburn or your best mate’s cousin Frank to give you a hand. Welcome to the lovely world of Consequence (Todd: if you are getting someone to read this out loud for you, please note that Consequence isn’t the actual name of another world that you have unknowingly travelled to).
The only real disappointment of the week was that when asked about the chances of Carney returning to Canberra, the Raiders said, “Not in 2012; we cannot fit him in under the salary cap” instead of “he can go fuck himself. If he comes anywhere fucking near us, we’ll set him on fire and put him out with a chain.”
Oh, there’s also some finals matches on this weekend:
Wests Tigers vs St George-Illawarra Dragons
Brisbane Broncos vs New Zealand Warriors
Manly Sea Eagles vs North Queensland Cowboys
Melbourne Storm vs Newcastle Knights
While the Dragoons haven’t been in the greatest form of late, I’m putting that little slump down to Wayne “The Great Wayne” Bennett ordering his troops to meander around the field like puppies and not get hurt for the last few weeks. After all, they’d already secured a top eight position so why risk having one of your good players break his leg while tackling Jarryd Hayne?
The Brissy vs Warriors game is almost too close to call. Without Thaiday and Hoffman, the Brisbanes will have to rely on some good ol’ inbred Queensland spirit to get through. Don’t ever underestimate the power of inbred Queenslanders.
Upset of the Round:
I’ll be upset if Newcastle win. They are seriously shit and I’m pretty sure that they’re all hoping that no one double-checks the results book and realises that they’re not meant to be there.
Game of the Round:
Raiders vs… oh. Never mind.
Life’s fucked when you’re an adult, hey Todd? Time to stop looking around for someone to throw you a lifeline, tiger, and get yourself sorted out. It’s not up to your club, your mum, the town of Goulburn or your best mate’s cousin Frank to give you a hand. Welcome to the lovely world of Consequence (Todd: if you are getting someone to read this out loud for you, please note that Consequence isn’t the actual name of another world that you have unknowingly travelled to).
The only real disappointment of the week was that when asked about the chances of Carney returning to Canberra, the Raiders said, “Not in 2012; we cannot fit him in under the salary cap” instead of “he can go fuck himself. If he comes anywhere fucking near us, we’ll set him on fire and put him out with a chain.”
Oh, there’s also some finals matches on this weekend:
Wests Tigers vs St George-Illawarra Dragons
Brisbane Broncos vs New Zealand Warriors
Manly Sea Eagles vs North Queensland Cowboys
Melbourne Storm vs Newcastle Knights
While the Dragoons haven’t been in the greatest form of late, I’m putting that little slump down to Wayne “The Great Wayne” Bennett ordering his troops to meander around the field like puppies and not get hurt for the last few weeks. After all, they’d already secured a top eight position so why risk having one of your good players break his leg while tackling Jarryd Hayne?
The Brissy vs Warriors game is almost too close to call. Without Thaiday and Hoffman, the Brisbanes will have to rely on some good ol’ inbred Queensland spirit to get through. Don’t ever underestimate the power of inbred Queenslanders.
Upset of the Round:
I’ll be upset if Newcastle win. They are seriously shit and I’m pretty sure that they’re all hoping that no one double-checks the results book and realises that they’re not meant to be there.
Game of the Round:
Raiders vs… oh. Never mind.
Reasons the Raiders didn't want to win this year #1: Trophies are heavy
MEB cumulative score: 118
1 comment:
Wonderful, that is what i was initially checking intended for! You just was able to save everybody a whole bunch of digging all-around
Post a Comment