Friday, August 19, 2011

NRL Round 24: Kissing Tongue Goodbye

The questions that need answering for this round:
1. Can Nathan Merrit score three tries to equal Brett Mullins’ record of 11 tries in three games way back in 1994?
2. Are St. George really as bad as they seem right now?
3. Should the Roosters have dropped Todd Carney a long time before now?
4. Are the Knights really still in finals contention?

And the answers are:
1. No. No one will ever equal the try scoring spree set by Mullins, nor will they beat up as many people outside the Queanbeyan RSL, or have a mullet halfway as permed as his was.
2. Yep. They should never have brought Gasnier back, and should probably put Soward on ice for a week, Demolition Man style. It worked for Wesley Snipes (almost).
3. That pin-eyed fuck knuckle shouldn’t be allowed anywhere near a footy field, including trying to paint the lines onto the field. You have to be sober to paint. Trust me.
4. Yeah, apparently so. I know, I thought they would struggle without the Chief, but apparently the team has recovered since 1999. Pity the Footy Show hasn’t. WOO.

Round 24:
Penrith Panthers vs New Zealand Warriors
South Sydney Rabbitohs
vs North Queensland Cowboys
Sydney Roosters vs Cronulla Sharks
Manly Sea Eagles
vs Bulldogs
Melbourne Storm vs St George-Illawarra Dragons
Wests Tigers vs Parramatta Eels
Newcastle Knights vs Brisbane Broncos

Game of the Round:
Gold Coast Titans vs Canberra Raiders

Canberra captain Alan “I wear my heart on my sleeve and my tongue in my mouth and also in my name” Tongue announced his retirement this week, throwing huge disruptions into the Raiders’ finals plans. After the team stopped laughing about making the finals, they went back to planning their end-of-season holiday to Vanuatu. Then they had a few drinks and watched some DVDs (Daniel “Rufio!” Vidot had brought in a pirated copy of the new Harry Potter flick) and hit the showers, confident that they’d done enough to beat the Titans this weekend, thereby avoiding the wooden spoon and giving Tonguey a good note to go out on.

I mean, it’s the Titans. They’re easily the worst team in the comp, and the only thing they have to play for is trying to avoid the spoon, and sending Preston Campbell out with a win after his retirement… announcement… last… week. Oh. Fucking hell.

Even the fake crowd weren't that happy with Orford's arrival

MEB cumulative score: 101

No comments: