Tuesday, July 05, 2011

State of Origin III: It all comes down to this

Whenever a State of Origin series stands at one game all, the cynic in me always thinks, “Well that was a bit fucking predictable.” The money-grabbing cash-cow in me thinks, “Well that’s a good way to get a capacity crowd for (at least) $70 a ticket.” The pirate in me thinks, “Aaar, that’s a scurvy land-lubber if ever I seen one.”

In any case, it does make for a more interesting match, and as much as I have enjoyed the sight of watching NSW try and avoid 3-0 whitewashes in the past, there’s always that point during the game where you see their heads drop when they realise that they’re a bit shit, and the contest itself kind of dies.

This year is different.

No one (aka me) expected the Blues to win the second Origin game; but they did, and got there fairly convincingly on a strong performance by their forward pack. It’s not often that a bloke who plays for the Sharks dominates a game of anything except for the occasional Window Licking Championship, but Paul “Just Call Me God” Gallen put his arse-kicking boots on, pulled his socks up and did the job against the more highly-fancied Queensland boppers. I’m not saying that league players are idiots (because if anyone reads this to them, they might come looking for me and beat me up), but they seemed at a loss as to how to stop the rampaging Gallen, who was playing in an unfamiliar position. The fact that there was a different bloke running towards them somehow impeded their ability to tackle him; I was under the assumption that they had tackled other players before, but they couldn’t work out the body:body ratio required to halt his progress. For Queensland’s sake, I hope that Mal has given them some instructions on how to use their arms against unexpected ball runners.

Justin “Rep Footy or Nothing” Hodges is back for the Toads, making his annual appearance in the centres after the injury to Tonga in Game 2. Hodges’ hamstrings are made out of pixie dust and dreams, are held together with a half-sucked Chupa Chup, and have the consistency of jelly. He is unlikely to make it through the national anthem without limping to the change room for a massage. If he crosses the tryline at any stage of the game, he will be crossing the sideline for a leg replacement soon after.

And no half-arsed Origin write-up would be complete without some kind of tribute to Darren “Muttley” Lockyer, who will be wearing the maroon jersey for the last time (at least until he joins Maroon 5). The Queenslanders will be keen to see him off as a winner – personally, I’d like to see them all sit around and cry because they let him, themselves, their state and their parole officers down by not chairing him off the field in victory.

MEB’s Origin Decider Prediction

I’m going to stick with my head on this one and say that Queensland will prevail. The emotion of sending Lockyer off with a win won’t get to the experienced heads of those around him, and Thurston will improve a thousand per cent on his Game 2 form. NSW have too many “you’ll do” players who are appearing only because of injury for my liking, and waltzing onto the hallowed ground of Suncorp Stadium in front of a packed house of Queensland supporters will blow their simple, fragile little minds. Apparently Origin does that to a person. Hell, it’d scare me too – all those fucking Queenslanders. So few teeth. So much back hair. So few chromosomes. So much shared DNA.

Cameron Smith's blatant beard-rash attack on Robbie Farah's hand went unnoticed by match officials.


Anonymous said...

Thanks for the insightful look at SOO, (yawn) hope its over soon!! The game.... Not your insights!! Was the teenager in your letter to Ronald working in a large rural town in NSW, (with a history of producing brilliant footballers with social issues that take short periods of leave to "find themselves" aka "work in a pub in rural Qld, to avoid the big house and be allowed to play footy"? Cause I think we were served by the same person on the way home from watching the Chooks wonderful performance on Monday last!

Mister Evil Breakfast said...

G'day Roy,
Depending on your definition of "large rural town in NSW," and "Canberra," it definitely could have been the same kid at McDonalds. It wouldn't surprise me if he was promoted instantly and was running his own McDonalds with his special brand of service.

Not long to go til (yawn) Origin now, tiger. Knock back a couple of Red Bulls and strap yourself in for some red-hot (yawn) rugby league action. I won't blame you if you decide to switch over to watch repeats of McLeods at the fifty-two minute mark though.

King Crack said...

QLD. They can still count the number of wins on the one hand.

That extra digit, no wonder they are such good banjo players.