Thursday, May 26, 2011

NRL 2011 - Round 12: I pick all home teams (spoiler warning)

Following the circus of State of Origin, we’re back into the regular NRL season again. Speaking of Origin, congratulations to the Queensland boys for their victory. It’s only fair that they won, as I’d feel bad if us southerners had teeth as well as a trophy. It’s nice to share things sometimes.

Special thanks to the Blues for trying the “pass wide from the kick off” trick I suggested last week – it would have worked if the ref didn’t ruin everyone’s fun. I am also available to coach your team so you don’t have to keep stealing my ideas. Just ask, lads.

We’re also back to full rounds of the regular season, which is always nice – it does add a bit of pressure to picking a winner though, as you’re never sure if someone is going to back up after their Origin performance, or if they’re injured, or tired or hungover or have syphilis (not to mention any names Michael Ennis) and decide at the last minute that they won’t bother playing this week because they really don’t feel like earning their salary.

The good news is that the Raiders are looking to make it three wins in a row as they take on a determined, yet ultimately unsuccessful Bye team, who are still looking for their first win in the NRL.

Sea Eagles vs Broncos
Bulldogs vs Titans
Knights vs Eels
Cowboys vs Roosters
Storm vs Sharks
Dragons vs Tigers
Panthers vs Rabbitohs

Holy shit, did they decide to make this round the one where all of the struggling teams play each other? Fuck me, what a mess.

MEB cumulative score: 43

Origin I wrap up

I almost spat my beer out when I saw that they gave Man of the Match to Cameron Smith. I’m fairly sure I saw him lining up at the bar during the game. I would have thrown the award to Petero Civenociva; the guy is about a million years old and runs around like a teenager. A giant, giant teenager.

There were some stand-out highlights during the game; Darius Boyd’s hit on Gasnier, NSW’s staunch defence on their goal line for about eighty-seven consecutive sets, Josh Dugan cutting off his Jedi-rat’s tail, the post-siren fight, the post-siren-post-fight interview with Darren Lockyer (actually, any Lockyer interview is worth its weight in lip-reading classes) and the cracking rendition of our national anthem all deserve mentions. But the Mister Evil Breakfast Special Moment Of State Of Origin I (MEBSMOSOOI) was hearing Peter Sterling use the phrase “Welcome to the X-Men: First Class half time break” as if it was the most normal sentence he’s ever uttered.

Sterlo’s mutant ability is the power to keep a straight face.

It's such a graceful game


Billy Zane said...

Dear MEB, imagine my surprise when reading your tips! for I was also tipped the home teams for this round...then i thought about your abysmal tipping record...i am now recondsidering...that is all

Goal thief said...

Dear MEB,

No mention of Morris' brain snap? That graceful spectacle allowed a try to a guy that sounds like he should be an entrée at Yum Cha.

p.s. Go Queensland

p.p.s. I, too, have a friend that can't speak English.

Mister Evil Breakfast said...

Goal Thief - Morris was merely showing Yum Cha the most direct route to the tryline. I believe he received a very nice compliment from him as reward. And a massive boot in the left testicle from Dugan.

Billy Zane - you are an outstanding specimen of Tasmania. Wipe the drool out of your keyboard and try again.