Thursday, April 28, 2011

NRL 2011 Round 8: Coaches and dinner and that

I have to admit that I didn’t really pay attention to the footy over the Easter ANZAC break, so I’m just going to assume that Todd Carney got pissed and started strangling kittens with panda intestines (and not in the good way). You know, just business as usual.

However, in real news according to the googlebox, St George coach Wayne Bennett has been signed by Newcastle, Penrith coach Matt Elliot was fired by the Panthers who are chasing Tigers coach Tim Sheens, and Raiders coach Dave Furner is sweating like a badger in a wetsuit about his future. Because if a coach can’t make his team catch the ball, who can? The players? You must be kidding.

“Overpaid League Player, you dropped a lot of ball out there today.”

“Yeah we did, Stating-The-Obvious-Journalist; it just wasn’t in our game plan.”

“Catching the ball wasn’t part of your game plan?”

“Yeah. Our coach went through the plan and that with the boys and that before the game, you know, in the sheds and that, and he mentioned tackling and getting numbers in defence and that, but you know, he didn’t say anything about catching and that. And at the end of the day, I reckon that was probably what was missing in our game.”


“…and that.”


“I’d just like to give a shout out to my girlfriend Sharon, who’s giving birth for the first time today. Thanks to Channel Nine and Toyota.”


“…and that.”

“…thanks Overpaid League Player, better luck next week.”

So it seems that there are some coaching shifts afoot, which always throws a bit of chilli into the chicken when it comes to picking your footy tips. Are the teams happy to have the fat trimmed off the bacon? Do they realise you have to break a few eggs to make an omelette? Or are they trying to turn a pork chop into a t-bone? (sorry, just thinking about some dinner options for tonight) Whatever the case is (probably spaghetti, to be perfectly Francine), teams always perform unpredictably when a coaching change occurs.

Except the Raiders, they will still suck.

Broncos v Bulldogs

Rabbitohs v Sharks

Titans v Roosters

Cowboys v Sea Eagles

Storm v Knights

Warriors v Panthers

Dragons v Eels

Raiders v Tigers

The more astute among you will probably have noticed that I have tipped all home teams this week… except the Raiders. The most astute of you will have noticed that I used the word ‘astute’ and didn’t have to look up its meaning. I like you guys.

What’s left to talk about with the mighty fucking Raiders? They have a strong team on paper, a good record of playing at home and a lovely green jumpie to wear, but it’s just not coming together at the moment. If it was going to come together, it probably would have done so against Newcastle last weekend, when the Green Machine sputtered to a grinding, noisy, messy halt after about 60 minutes and let the match slip between their slimy webbed fingers. With each loss comes more pressure, and with more pressure comes more mistakes. I don’t see this week as being a good one for us (again).

Once the team starts looking at giving it up for the year and begins planning for the 2012 season, we might even win a few games.

And that makes me a sad Raiderfan.

This is about as scary as the Raiders have been this year

MEB cumulative score: 27

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