Welcome to round four, punters (not you, Ponting, you fucking fuck – I’m talking to the other punters), where we delve deep into the world of rugby league and discover who has the upper hand on-field through strength of body as well as mind, who has the right tactics and who has been secretly diddling his team-mate’s wife on the side (coughcoughTHURSTONcoughcough).
Let’s see, what happened last week? Oh right, everyone I tipped sucked massive balls. I am assuming it’s a ploy by the NRL and the University of Canberra Hockey Club Tipping Competition to take my tips and make a mockery of them. Seriously, that’s pretty much the only reason I can think of as to why everyone I tipped (especially Canberra) would have sucked so much last week. And the week before. Not to mention the fact that a steroid-ridden salary-cheating bunch of world beaters like the Storm can’t even get close to a team from Queensland (the NORTH of Queensland, to make things worse), who still haven't recognised that they won that game. Oh look, I just insulted North Queensland people. Luckily it will take them until next week to understand that, and even longer for them to respond, but only a day to forget what I said.
Rotary ho, let’s tip the shit out of this week:
Rabbitohs v Sea Eagles
Broncos v Panthers
Eels v Cowboys
Sharks v Warriors
Knights v Dragons
Roosters v Tigers
Storm v Bulldogs
Raiders v Titans
They’ve been down on form of late, have the mighty bloody fucking Canberra Raiders, but it’s about time they hit their straps against the losers from the Gold Coast, who rely solely on pretty boy Scotty Prince to keep the team on track. Then again, that’s more than the Raiders have had to rely on in the past couple of weeks. But this week will be completely different, if the team got the box of lucky Spider-man undies I sent them – unwashed of course, to ensure the luck isn’t washed out of them, which will inspire our boys to a thoroughly desmolishing victory over the Coast. Thanks for coming boys, don’t let our shitty weather and lack of interesting things to do hit you on the arse on the way home. Raiders by at least 20. MEB cumulative score: 8…