Too many beers
T’is the silly season once again; the time of year where drinking will take a higher priority than usual and meeting friends for a Christmas beer is the order of the day.
It all starts with a call from your mate on Monday; “Let’s grab a brew after work,” they say. Sounds harmless, you think, and when the final whistle is blown in the office, you rush out the door and find yourself with a frosty beverage in hand and a friend or two at your table within ten minutes. Mmm tastes good yes. Your phone rings in your pocket – it’s another invite for a “quick Chrissy drink.” Before you know it, you’ve got a fresh drink in front of you and more people at your table. Halfway through your new schooner, you’ve received another call, two text messages and bumped into at least one more of your mates. Since Christmas is about giving, your friends will present you with more beers, to which you should return the favour. Soon enough, you’ll be so full of Christmas cheer that you won’t mind the fact that it’s now officially Thursday, nor the fact that your sentences will go a little bit like this: Nah nah nah nah nah just shhhh for a sec, shhhh shh shhhhh ok? Yeah, nah, it's like you know how it's like when you're like ah I dunno like umm... nah nah shhhhh I'm getting there ok shh. Yeah, so ummm. Yeah nah, shh hang on. Ah fuck it, I don't know. Whatever man. Let's just keep drinking. Shhh. Drink. I love you. No, shut up. I love you. Shut up, fuckhead. I – LOVE – YOU. Fuck. Just shut up.
Too many beers and a bright shiny new crowbar.