Wednesday, May 18, 2016

Thought of the day

People often ask me why I don't like spiders.  There are a few reasons, to be honest.  One is because they spin webs across my driveway and I walk through them every morning.  Another reason is when they wait until you fall asleep, then they burrow into your skin and devour your insides and wear your skin around town like a dressing-gown, and then it goes to bars and maxes out your credit cards, calls your ex-girlfriends, crashes your car and vomits all over your stuff, but by this point it's not even your stuff any more, and now whatever was left of you has been regurgitated over what used to be your entire life.

Horrible things, spiders.

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