Stupid fucking Thursday night games. GO FUCK YOURSELF, THURSDAY NIGHT GAMES, YOU FUCKING FUCKS. Nice crowds, by the way, dipshits. You couldn’t pull a crowd with an electric hand-job machine.
Sydney Roosters vs South Sydney Rabbitohs
Melbourne Storm vs Brisbane Broncos
Wests Tigers vs Cronulla Sharks
Nth Queensland Cowboys vs Manly Sea Eagles
Newcastle Knights vs St George Illawarra Dragons
Gold Coast Titans vs Canterbury Bulldogs
Penrith Panthers vs New Zealand Warriors
It’s a tipper’s nightmare this weekend, as we head into the final regular round where teams who have no chance of making the finals are playing other teams with no chance of making the finals, and other games where one team might be able to make the finals if they win against a team who can’t as long as every other game goes their way. How the hell do you try and get a team to play off for the honour of coming either fifteenth or twelfth? They should all just go to the pub and play drinking games instead. For most of the games this weekend, it would probably be more entertaining to watch.
My recommendations for this weekend is for Souths to destroy the Roosters, simply because I hate the Roosters – is it just me, or are they becoming the new Manly? – and for Melbourne to get a very unconvincing win against Brisbane. The Dogs should have no problem in rolling the Titans (although the grub contest between Ennis and Bird will be interesting) and I’m opting for the Warriors (who I have a strange and awesome boner for at the moment) to take advantage of a clearly demoralized Penrith team. Poor Pennies last week, had the wood over Manly for 79 minutes, but somehow managed to lose. Good one, Penrith, you had ONE JOB TO DO. Although maybe I'm being too hard on them - being from Penrith, they aren't used to having a job.
The other game to watch will be Cronulla vs the Tigers; both have been bested by the high-flying Raiders over the last fortnight, and both will be looking to end their season on a high – although the Sharks should probably be doing less things that end on a high, if you know what I mean PAUL GALLEN. I’m tipping Cronulla, simply because they came within a bee’s dick of beating the Cowboys on Monday night. It was definitely
not a game that made you think “if Cronulla lose this by
less than 4, it would be a bookie’s wet dream. I sure hope none of the players are tanking this match because of any illegal bets being made.”
|The number of players left for Cronulla following injuries, discipline and drug cheating suspensions|
Game of the Round
Canberra Raiders vs Parramatta Eels
The might of Canberra has done enough to avoid the wooden spoon, and with a win could even end up third last, which would be embarrassing for the Titans – imagine being as bad as Canberra! However, with a finals berth on the horizon (very distant horizon) for the Parramatta Eels, the blue and golds should have the motivation (not to mention skills, ability, fitness, power and Jarrod Hayne) to get the bickies in this one. Probably pretty comfortably, too. The only person who would still really give a shit would be Jarrod Croker, who is somehow sitting pretty near the top of the try and point-scoring ladders in the NRL. Yes, sportsfans, apparently the Raiders scored tries this year.
Congrats to Ricky Stuart for breaking a five-year drought of not being able to win twice in a row, congrats to the Raiders for winning at all, congrats to Tom Leahroyd-Lars, who, despite not playing this year at all remained Canberra’s third-highest paid player and then signing with Melbourne for next year, congrats to Reece Robinson who is leaving to learn how to catch, congrats to Anthony Milford for giving us hope and taking it away, congrats to Sam Williams for signing back with the Raiders after a one-year stint elsewhere (great, another promising halfback to ruin next year) and congrats to all of the team for not being as shit as the Sharks.