Friday, May 16, 2014

NRL 2014 Round 10: Pearce is a wanker

This week saw the perennial NSW halfback do his very best to do the exact thing that all NSW fans and supporters wanted – get kicked out of Origin selection.  He may not have been entirely smart about the way he did it though, but then, being a football player, and being from Bondi will probably help in doing things the “not entirely smart way,” and he decided to go out on the turps all day, go to a nightclub, touch up some lovely young thing, get thrown out by the bouncers and then get arrested by the po-po.

I mean, thanks and all Mitchell Pearce, but you probably could have just claimed a “torn pectoral” or “an eyelash went in my eye” and you could have avoided dragging the NRL through the shit.  Again.

The possibility of not having Mitch Pearce in the NSW team was then upended by the suspension of Greg Bird, who was found guilty of being a complete twat as well as the slightly more serious offence of spear-tackling some other dickhead last weekend. 

I don’t like Greg Bird, and I don’t think he’s quite the great white hope that people think he is.  Others may disagree, but they’re wrong. 

Round 10

The game that’s got me a bit excited is the Bunnies vs Storm match, which should be a cracker.  Although I think I’ve found the greatest flaw in the South Sydney defence, which is big ol’ Greg Inglis.  If I was Cameron “Super Grub” Smith, Cooper “What?” Cronk or even Billy “Fucking Kill Me Now” Slater, I’d kick it to him at every opportunity.  High kicks or low, he’s got the ball handling skills of a lesbian.

South Sydney Rabbitohs vs Melbourne Storm
North Queensland Cowboys vs Sydney Roosters
Canterbury Bulldogs vs New Zealand Warriors
Cronulla-Sutherland Sharks vs Wests Tigers
Brisbane Broncos vs Gold Coast Titans
Parramatta Eels vs St George-Illawarra Dragons
Manly-Warringah Sea Eagles vs Newcastle Knights

Game of the Round

Canberra Raiders vs Penrith Panthers

I actually forgot to put my tips in last week.  HOW RETARDED AM I, RIGHT?  I figured making such a stupid error could have put me right up there to coach the Raiders, or play for the Raiders, or own the Raiders or something.  Turns out, I just did really poorly with my tips.  The Raiders didn’t seem too interested in my retardedness, claiming that they had it already in spades. 

That is true.

Here are some stats about the current coach of the Raiders, Ricky Stuart (courtesy of Twitter person Andrew Ferguson (@AndrewRLP)).  There are no jokes or snide remarks in the following list.
  •        Since 2009, Ricky Stuart coached sides have only won back to back games once (Cronulla in 2009 won 4 straight games (they won 5 that year)).
  •          Ricky Stuart as coach since 2009: 18 wins, 56 losses, For 1097, Against 1951
  •          Since 2009: Ricky Stuart coached sides have lost, conceding 30-39 points 15 times, 40-49 points 7 times and 50+ points 7 times 
  •          Ricky Stuart coached sides have conceded 50+ points in a game 6 times in their last 30 games 
  •          Since 2009, Ricky Stuart coached sides have won 18 games and lost 56. 29 of those losses have seen his sides concede 30+ points 
  •          This is the first time the Raiders have had back to back losses conceding 50+ points since 2006, when they lost 70-32 v NEW & 56-20 v SYD

I’m not saying that Ricky is shit, but… no, I am saying that.  He really is shit.  It’s a massive pity, because he was an awesome player, and I think better than Allan Langer – To me, a totally unbiased fan of league, Stuart had the better kicking game, better defence, better passing game, better vision and better mullet. 

All Langer had was a decent short kicking game and a face like a busted arse.

I’ve lost my train of thought.  GO RAIDERS.

Nothing impresses me more than a poorly Photoshopped image of Josh Dugan and Benji Marshall.  

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