Friday, May 30, 2014

NRL 2014 - Round 12: Who Cares? We won!

NSW managed to sneak home in the first State of Origin match on Wednesday in a hard-fought, often controversial and pretty fucking good game of league.  This takes the NSW win tally up to one-in-a-row, and has given anyone with a hint of a sky-blue jumper in their wardrobe the confidence to claim themselves as the greatest warriors in history, completely unbreakable, monumentally unbeatable and totally flawless in all athletic endeavours.

So I guess we’ll see in a few weeks’ time how the Blues overreact to winning an entire game of football.  In my learned opinion, this is their best chance to finally get that legendary series victory – and I’m not saying that I’m awesome or whatever, I’ll let the media do that for me, but I did predict that last year would be the final year of QLD’s reign, and the NSW dominance was going to begin (probably for about three or four years).  I would link to that prediction, but I’m lazy and couldn’t be fucked going through all of my shitty blog posts.  Anyway, this is their best chance for two reasons:  the QLD team is getting past their prime – there’s only so long you can keep a bunch of dickheads together; and everyone is injured.  Cronk broke his arm, Slater did his ankle, Cam Smith went down in sympathy, Nate Myles fractured his hand, and Daly Cherry-Evans was a victim of peer injury pressure. 

The injuries could count as a blessing though – it gives QLD a chance to get some new players in there.  No offence to the ageing Maroons team, but they’re getting a bit fucking old.  The QLD forwards are so old that they don’t just pack a scrum, they pack a straw hat, a box of tissues and a cardigan in case it gets cold.  The Queensland backline is so old that they carry photos of Corey Parker’s first 1st grade game in their wallets to show strangers on the bus. 

It’s also good because everyone on the Queensland team has had their head so far up their own arse for way too long – except for Nate Myles, of course; that forehead wouldn’t fit through the gates at DisneyWorld. 

Last Origin point (maybe) - what was the deal with the Channel 9 introduction for each player?  “Jarryd Hayne enjoys playing X-Box and listening to U2.  He is currently single.  Darius Boyd collects ceramic frogs and is afraid of the dark.  Michael Jennings lived in a housing estate and had to dance for money as a child.”  Fuck that, this is not The Voice, and no one gives a fuck about what makes Robbie Farah chub up.  Just give us some stats, tell us his Origin story and fuck off. 

Round 12

Fuck knows, really.  Who’s playing and who’s not is going to be a mystery from here on in, and every team is going to change right up til kick-off.  Just put all the teams in a hat and draw them out.

Penrith Panthers vs Parramatta Eels
Sydney Roosters vs Canberra Raiders
Nth Queensland Cows vs Melbourne Storm
New Zealand Warriors vs Newcastle Knights
Brisbane Broncos vs Manly Sea Eagles
South Sydney Rabbitohs vs St George Illawarra Dragons

Seems that the Daily Telegraph was also pretty shocked that New South Wales had a win

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