Friday, June 08, 2012

NRL Round 14: Farewell Mr Gallop

OH MY GOD WHAT A WEEK OF NRL ACTION AND SHIT AND STUFF.  I didn’t pay much attention to everything that was going on (because I was drunk), but I did have enough nous about me to notice that the CEO of the NRL told it to GTFOand went AWOL.  Rumour has it that he left because Brett Stewart keeps ringing him every eight minutes demanding an apology for not standing by him after he got drunk at the NRL launch and fingered an underage girl.  Fingered is such a good word.  It's a bit like the word 'moist'. 

So that pretty much leaves the job of running the NRL open for me to step into.  My first point of bidness will be to get rid of dickheads and fuckwits.  All tattoos will have to be run by me, and if I don’t like them or deem them to be a bit shit, I will either ban the owner from playing footy, or cut off the offending limb/ peel off the skin/ set fire to it.  Then I will teach all players some simple grammar, starting with the difference between “came” and “come” so I don’t want to brain myself when I hear Joey Fucking Johns say “During Friday night’s game, when Fui-Fui come on the field, Parramatta looked great.”  If Fui-Fui comes on the field, Joey, everyone will drown.

In terms of tipping this week, it’s another case of who-the-fuck-knows due to half the competition playing Origin, half the competition having the bye, half the comp being injured, suspended or in jail, and the rest is the Raiders playing the Knights.  

I’m predicting that the Tigers will knock over an Origin-depleted Melbourne team, the Titans will knock over a leader-depleted Sharkies squad, the Roosters will knock over a redneck-depleted Brisbane outfit, and the Warriors to knock over a talent-depleted Panthers mob.  

Melbourne Storm vs Wests Tigers
Sharks vs Gold Coast Titans
Sydney Roosters vs Brisbane Broncos
Penrith Panthers vs New Zealand Warriors

And then, there’s the GAME OF THE ROUND:
Newcastle Knights vs Canberra Raiders

Yep, I’m doing it.  I’m going back to the Raiders, despite their fucking dismally shitty woeful fucking performance last week.  It would have been pitiful, if I was into giving pity to overpaid prima donna “athletes.”  This week, they’ve gone on a soul-searching mission into the Hunter region, where they played drinking games and watched Meg Ryan movies.  This is no doubt a step-up from their previous training sessions of ignoring defensive techniques and dropping the ball.  

I think the Canberra boys will have something to prove this week, and will come out against the Knights with purpose.  I have been saying that for a few years now though.

Remember when the Raiders made a tackle last weekend?  If not, here it is again.

Oh yeah…
State of Origin
New South Wales vs Queensland

Yeah… I still don’t see the Blues doing anything of note.

No comments: