State of Origin time really does suck the life out of some good NRL news, doesn’t it? Absolutely nothing has happened this week – even Todd Carney has been quiet. I could have sworn that when David Gallop quit as CEO, he knew that there was some kind of disaster looming that he really didn’t want to be a part of, like the Broncos squad all being part of an elaborate meth-dealing operation (and honestly, you don’t get a voice like Darren Lockyer’s without inhaling toxic meth fumes all day, do you?), or having Benji Marshall posing as a plumber to rip off pensioners. But the Australian National Rugby League has been all hush-hush and boring. Kind of like the AFL, but without as many mincing pansies.
The only thing that people are really worried about this weekend is staying uninjured for the naming of the next round of Origin players. Justin I like x-rays Hodges is always injured, which gives every Queensland centre a glimmer of hope, and with Billy The Rat Slater having a forelock injury, it has finally opened the door for someone
likeable else to handle the custodian position for the
Maroons. The main contenders are Ben I’m
way more arrogant than Slater but not even close to being as good Barba and
Matt Remember Me? Bowen. I’d go for
Bowen because I kind of like him (not in that way though... well, maybe a
little), and Barba is just a massive show-pony who rivals Jarryd Hayne for
over-ratedness. And yes, that is a word;
it’s totally in the dictionary.
NRL Round 16
My tips this week are coming from my gut – although it hasn’t been a particularly strong week for the old Evil Breakfast stomach – but in order to appease the gods, I’m following it in any case. What’s that stomach? Mrrrrgggghhh. Yes, I agree, Manly should win. Brrpppp. I’m with you, stomach – the Bunnies will upset the Broncos, and St George will finally get a win. They’d freakin better, anyway.
Canterbury Bulldogs vs Melbourne Storm
St George Illawarra Dragons v Gold Coast Titans
Brisbane Broncos v South Sydney Rabbitohs
Penrith Panthers v Parramatta Eels
Sydney Roosters v Manly Sea Eagles
Newcastle Knights v Wests Tigers
GAME OF THE ROUND:
Nth Queensland Cowboys v Canberra Raiders
The Raiders sure did give the Bye something to think about last week. Oh yes indeed. Unfortunately for Canberra, the Cowboys are threatening to put up more of a fight than a weekend off, and will no doubt keep Canberra’s shitty season continuing the shit-train to Shitsville. I’m predicting a good 24 point victory to the Cowboys, and at least one serious injury to a Raiders player.
Speaking of injuries, rising Raiders star Jack Wighton has been ruled out for the rest of the year with a toe injury. In true Canberra style, Jack didn’t hurt himself in an awkward tackle or through an extreme training exercise. He hurt his foot in a backyard trampolining accident. Now... trampolines these days have those stupid cages around them so IT’S IMPOSSIBLE TO GET HURT. My hat goes off to you, Jack, for being able to get drunk enough to hurt yourself on a child’s safety toy. You will go far in the NRL.
Josh Dugan has shaken off a threatening cheek injury and should be at full inflation this weekend