Friday, March 23, 2012

NRL 2012: Round 4 - Not Guilty

Is it just me, or is this season taking forever? No, apparently it is just me.

I have picked five winners each week for the opening three rounds. That’s a decent little average (of five). If I can keep up my decent little average (of five), I should have about 91 points by round ten.

Big news this week with the mahoosive penalty handed to Tony “T-Rex” Williams for his mahoosively rubbish tackle on Isaac de Gois, who is expected to re-enter the Earth’s atmosphere sometime over the weekend. Williams copped a 10-week suspension for the tackle, which was reduced to 7 weeks because he pleaded guilty… Yeah, I don’t really get it either.
“Mister Evil Breakfast, you were going 180 kph in this school zone for blind children. Here’s a fine for $10,000.”
“Damn right I was. I actually thought it was closer to 190. I’m trying to hit the magic 200.”
“Oh. Don’t worry about the fine then. In fact, here’s a cheque for being awesome.”

It really doesn’t work. Well… except for Fuckbag of the Week (again) – Robert Lui.

Ol’ Robby was in some strife last year when he decided to kick the shit out of his pregnant girlfriend. When he was charged with assault, he decided that “not guilty” sounded good… until he was told that if he was found guilty, he’d be spending a little time in the clink. So he did what every good bloke would do to avoid being harshly penalised for doing the wrong thing, and changed to a “not guilty” plea. So instead of going to jail and being beaten up by men bigger than him, he got “charged” $2,000.

$2,000. For assault.

You get charged $6,000 for running onto the SCG during a cricket match.

Fucking stupid world we’re living in sometimes. I’m not going to get all philosophical on you, but fucking hell. What the fuck?

Round 4:
Parramatta Seals vs Pink Panthers
South Sydney Rarebitohs
vs Risbane Roncos
New Zulland Warriors vs Clash of the Titans
St George-Illawarra Dragoons vs Manly Seagulls
North Queensland Cowgirls vs The Shire Sharks
Melbourne Drizzle vs Sydney Rooters
CanterburyBullfrogs vs Newcastle Nights

Game of the Round:
Wests Tijers
vs Canberra Fuck off you Stupid Raiders

The Bad and Mean Fucking Canberra Green Machine took part in possibly the world’s worst 80-minutes of football last week. They lost the game, and a few blokes came out of the match with limbs missing and internal organs being pierced by broken bones. So there are a few injury concerns for the Raiders to Dugan, Fensom and some other bloke. Possibly Thurling (possibly not. Stats are my life).

The Tigers played like absolute fucktards last week, and were deservedly smashed by the Dragons. This week, I can see an improvement in their game and will take full toll of a depleted Canberra line-up. It’s kind of like spraying the shit out of a spider with fly spray so that it just kind of writhes around with one usable leg, then waiting 10 minutes for it to count its spider blessings and accept its fate, then beat the crap out of it with a thong. It might be fun, but it’s not sport.

I fucking hate spiders.

It actually kind of looks a bit fun


King Crack said...

You are going down tonight Evil. The Tiges will give the Raiders a belting usually reserved for red headed step children.

Mister Evil Breakfast said...

Cracky, anything to say now? WOO WOO RAIDERS WOO I WISH I TIPPED THEM WOO

King Crack said...

The shame of being beaten by the Raiders is a shame that does not pass easily. Good win Evil, well tipped.