Huh. Another week of NRL, hey? Yeah. I just hope that everyone tries really hard and has a good time. It would also be nice if no one got hurt. Good luck to everyone; I think it would be nice if all of the games ended in a draw so every team gets points and no one leaves disappointed. That would be really, really nice.
It has been a hard week for me.
You'd probably have to go back to Harold Godwinson's victory over Harald Hardrada at Stamford Bridge in 1066 to find a more impressive victory by a group of knights over a group of Vikings than happened last weekend, and I’m still not over it.
I don’t want to talk about it.
Cronulla Sharks (1.50) vs North Queensland Cowboys (2.50)
Cowboys were learning how to play without Thurston, then their back-up half went and injured himself. I don’t know how they will go with a back-up back-up half. Probably not well. Hopefully not well. For the sake of my tipping, if nothing else.
New Zealand Warriors (1.48) vs St George Dragons (2.65)
I’m still trying to work out why the Warriors are such firm favourites for this game, considering how much they suck. If you have $10 that you don’t know what to do with, throw it on the Dragons. Or give it to me. Actually don’t, I’ll probably just put it on the Dragons.
Brisbane Broncos (1.18) vs Wests Tigers (4.75)
Poor Tigers. James Roberts is probably going to destroy the absolute fuck out of their left-edge defence. I would, if I was James Roberts. I'd do a lot of things if I was him, to be honest, and very few of them would be related to cocaine.
Gold Coast Titans (1.60) vs Manly Sea Eagles (2.35)
I don’t trust either of these teams. I am tipping the Manly Sea Eagles because I’m a freakin idiot, even though one of their best players died last weekend. Well, he didn’t die, just his career. Also, not his career, his knee. And it didn’t die, it’s just destroyed. Well, not destroyed, it’s just fucked for the season. But only for the next four weeks or so.
Parramatta Eels (2.34) vs Canberra Raiders (1.61)
Go Raiders. I guess. Woo.
If I was them, I’d run at Mitchell Moses, because he’s way smaller than everyone else and doesn’t know how to tackle. I’d avoid the big blokes in the middle though. Rugby league – it’s a thinking game.
Newcastle Knights (3.70) vs Penrith Panthers (1.28)
Can the Knights go back-to-back and win two in a row? Probably not. But it’s nice to think about.
Canterbury Bulldogs (2.65) vs Eastern Suburb Roosters (1.48)
I feel like this game was already played last week, but it was just the Dogs getting fucked on by a better team and the Roosters giving a bit of stick to a shit team.
South Sydney Rabbitohs (3.05) vs Melbourne Storm (1.38)
Yeah I reckon the Melbournes will win this one. They gurgled their way to a loss last weekend by forgetting how to defend, which was interesting. Souths played like it was 2014 again, but it was only against the Tigers, so let’s not get too carried away with anything.