Is it just me, or does it feel like there’s football on every day at the moment? God bless those ANZACs; I’m sure they had a five-day weekend of rugby league glory in mind when they signed up.
The less said about the results, the better. Brisbane were given their usual benefit of the doubt from the umpires to ensure that they make the finals despite, you know, not being, you know, good at footy. Cronulla didn’t turn up against a Titans team that did, the Raiders fucking fuck fuck fucked fucking fuckhole fuckwit fuckshit fucked, and even the Cowboys limped home against the Knights.
Off-field, the bullshit continues as clubs swap players around like Pokemon pogs. The latest is Josh Reynolds from the Bulldogs, who has been pimped over to the Tigers for next year, after Canterbury signed Keiran Foran from the Warriors after he left Parramatta who he left Manly to play for. I’m just not sure if the Bulldogs is really where a bloke who has struggled with mental illness and depression needs to be. He would have been pushing people out of the way to get to the Harbour Bridge first after last week’s game.
Josh Reynolds is a fucking horrible human being – he is a grub, a cheat, and the dirtiest player in the league. How the Dogs could ever contemplate losing a player who epitomises everything about their club is beyond me.
The NRL’s stance on mid-season trades and announcements is a massive bag of balls, honestly. Why would supporters keep turning up to watch a team play who might all be at different clubs as early as the next game? I understand that clubs want to win, and buying players is a great way to get a bit closer to that dream, but there’s a difference between the performance that you would get out of a two-year stint from a mercenary player and a bloke who would (and probably has) murdered people for the sake of his team.
|Find me another player who would do this in front of the ref, 17 guys who are all way bigger than him and 20,000 idiots five beers in|
Broncos (1.42) vs Panthers (2.90)
Normally this would be pretty cut and dry – the Broncos are winning (just) and the Panthers are losing (by heaps). But if the last few weeks have taught us nothing, it’s bet your house on the shit team. I’m not, but don’t let that stop you. The battle of the fat fucks in Milford vs Merrin for the laziest prick in the league will have me wheezing for breath between handfuls of Cheetos.
Rabbits (2.12) vs Manly (1.75)
I just have no idea. Can these two fucking idiot teams put together two decent performances in two consecutive weeks? Probably not.
Cowboys (1.54) vs Parramatta (2.55)
Because you have to tip someone, right?
Titans (1.22) vs Knights (4.45)
INTERESTING STAT OF THE DAY: The Titans are the third best attacking team in the NRL. How often do you see that from a team coming 15th? NOT VERY.
Bulldogs (2.75) vs Raiders (1.48)
WOO RAIDERS DON’T LET LAST WEEK’S SPEEDBUMP SLOW YOU DOWN WOO ALTHOUGH YOU SHOULD SLOW DOWN FOR SPEEDBUMPS NORMALLY WOOO OR YOU’LL DO SOME DAMAGE TO YOUR SUSPENSION OR UNDERCARRIAGE WOOO DRIVE SAFELY EVERYONE WOOO
Tigers (2.65) vs Sharks (1.50)
The Sharks will have to be pretty pissed off at losing to the Titans that they’ll take all of their drunken bogan aggression out on the Tigers. This could be Ivan Cleary’s first massive loss as coach.
Warriors (2.12) vs Roosters (1.75)
Dragons (2.75) vs Storm (1.48)
In a beautiful moment in league history, both teams will be heading onto the field without playing anyone at five-eighth. St George haven’t named anyone in the #6 jersey, and to keep things fair, Melbourne will put Cooper Cronk into that position. That guy has been all kind of shithouse ever since he announced his retirement. What a dick.
What I said last week vs what actually happened