The NRL finals race ticks down to just four
teams, and since one of those teams is Cronulla, it might as well be down to
three. And Melbourne will be
investigated for salary cap cheating (again), so it’s down to two. And since one of those is from Queensland…
congratulations Canberra! I never
doubted you for a moment.
Some interesting
developments off-field and in the pubs and signing contracts and getting
overpaid and stuff this week – Greg Bird got in trouble at a pub in Tweed (or
somewhere), but has acquitted himself by saying, “There’s no footage of me
punching anyone” which is basically the NRL-adult way of saying “nuh uh” and
also rates on the equivalent scale of Ted Bundy saying, “Yes I murdered and ate
my victims, but I didn’t rape them this time.”
Greg Bird, I’d love to say that we love your rascally ways, but really
we just wish you’d fuck off. Also, there’s
a bird that swoops me twice a day as I walk between my car and the office, so
that bird can fuck right off too. Fuck
all the birds.
Speaking of people who can fuck
off, Todd Carney is considering a deal to come back to the NRL to play for St George. And so, the natural circle of life looks to
complete itself, whereby all former Canberra Raiders players eventually sign
with St George. For those not paying
attention, Todd Carney was released by the Sharks a few years back over a
string of off-field issues, which were topped off nicely by pictures of him
pissing into his own mouth being circulated.
Then he sued Cronulla for $3 million, claiming that he did it “because one day if it happens to a player again, the club might think back to what’s happened to me. It might help another player.”
I’m just not sure if a
player photographing themselves drinking their own urine will happen again, to
be honest, but I’m sure that if they do, they will be happy to know that Todd
has $3 million to share around with his fellow pissheads.
Cronulla vs Cowboys
Cronulla announced during
the week that they have re-signed inspirational captain Paul Gallen for another
year, which confirms the fact that the Sharks aren’t going to send the skipper out with a win this
year. Or next year, for that matter.
Last week’s Broncos vs
Cowboys clash proved just how good extra time is over bonus point. It’s even better when the Broncos lose during
it, too. No doubt the game has taken a
fair fucking toll on the ol’ Cowboys team, who haven’t had to play that well to
beat anyone since they took on the Hunter Mariners in 1997.
This could honestly go either way. Call me old fashioned, but I
like my NRL the same way I like my scotch.
With Cronulla not winning.
Storms vs Canberra Viking Clap WOO
During the week, Raiders
coach Sticky Ricky Stuart said that he has had enough with the Melbourne
bashing, claiming that he’s sick of talking about their wrestling tactics to
slow the game down, and that if they want to cheat by using wrestling tactics
to slow the game down, then that’s their prerogative and they should be ashamed
of themselves and it will be even more glorious when Canberra fuck them over
again.
Canberra have proven this
year that they step up to play the full 80-minutes when it counts, such as the
recent thrashings of the Storm and the Sharks, as well as the last-minute
come-from-behind edge-of-your-seat demolition of the wooden spooned Newcastle
Knights. They will need to come out with
their shit-kickers shined and ready to kick some shit this weekend. Rattling the Storm early will be key – not allowing
Cronk and Smith to get into their rhythm will go a long way to winning this
one. And I can’t think of a better way
to ruin Cooper’s 300th game for the Storm by pissing on his parade.
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| This photo makes me want to rend movies, drink milk and anyhow... have a Winfield |
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