Friday, June 19, 2015

NRL 2015 - Round 15: I'm sure something happened in the NRL this week, I just don't know what it was

It was lucky that last week was a split round, as going by my tipping form, I would have scored a big ol’ none from eight.  None from four is much better.  As the saying goes, “When less teams are playing, it’s easier to tip!” 

Fucking fuck.  However, as the other saying goes: "If you can tip zero in a round, you can tip a full one.  Just… do exactly the opposite and... you know... get them right next time."  It's not a well-known saying.

Onto the week that was - HOLY SHIT WHAT A GREAT GAME OF ORIGIN is what I heard when I went into work yesterday, having missed most of the game as I was fighting crime with my pet dinosaur.  I did manage to catch the last 10 minutes or so of the game, and it looked decidedly “oooh” and “errrr” at its finest moments.  Once again, it seems that the refs tried to get in the way of a good game and fuck it all up for everyone.  In any case, we head to Suncorp in three weeks (surprise surprise) to settle this best-of-three thing once and for all.  I know, it’s like there’s some kind of marketing agenda at hand here.  

Congrats to NSW for squaring the ledger; it couldn't have been easy to defeat a team with so many half-arsed efforts being produced.  

To have fielded Billy Slater at all was a stupid move from the Maroons, as he was obviously hampered by an injured shoulder, was lacking in confidence with the ball, and most importantly, proved that he cannot perform without Cameron Smith and Cooper Cronk.  Just ask his wife.

So Billy has ruled himself out for the rest of the season to get some surgery on his shoulder.  His usual grubbiness and cheating has been well below 100% this year, and his shoulder problems have been at the forefront of that.  Slater's absence will be a real blow for Storm and QLD supporters, as Slater has been threatening to return to top form lately.  It is however, good news for people like me, who fucking hate Billy Slater.  

Round 15

Manly vs Tigers

It will be interesting to see how this pans out - the Tigers pack have a huge size advantage, but Manly have classier halves.  Daly Cherry-Evans should be well-rested from not doing fucking anything on Wednesday night, so might actually turn up to this game.  I'll be interested in seeing how the Taupau backs up from single-handedly fucking up the entire South Sydney team last week.  I reckon Manly will scrape through in a close one.

Raiders vs Cowboys

The Raiders will be buoyed by the fact that BJ Leilui has signed with the Green Machine after walking out on his Newcastle contract. Where you’d put a 120kg Kiwi with cornrows AND a mullet is anyone’s guess. Probably Mooseheads, actually.

If watching a scoreboard tick over is your idea of a good afternoon, then this game could be right up your alley. The Raiders can pretty much score at will through their left side with Williams, Croker and Lee... but anyone can score at will down the same side as the same trio leak tries. Will be great to see the form halves hit each other - Cowboys going for eleven wins on the trot... and I reckon they'll just get there.

Titans vs Warriors

Ooooh.  I’m spoilt for choice – which shit team do I tip this week?  Flip a coin and file this one under “gotta pick someone, I suppose.”  I love the Warriors, who am I kidding?  I just really, really REALLY wish they were a lot better.

Bulldogs vs Panthers

Penrith are master magicians – they have made their entire first grade team… disappear.  It hasn’t been a great year for the Panfers, especially considering their good form from last year.  But when you literally have of your starting team out injured, what else can you do?  My money’s on the Dogs this weekend, who have one of the form players in the comp at the moment – keep an eye on Mbye, who is playing like a man who needs to get more vowels in his name.

Knights vs Sharks

Um.  Sharks.

Storm vs Broncos

Hmm.  Broncos?

Dragons vs Roosters

Uuuh.  Dragons.

It's nice that someone cares enough to have made this t-shirt.
It's a pity that it looks a bit shit.

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