An interesting week of waiting
for the next game of footy has almost passed us by, with several questions throwing
themselves up like Blake Ferguson on a Friday night.
Questions like “what was that
siren-like noise? It sounded like a
siren.” Usually, when the siren-like
noise of a siren is heard, it indicates the end of the game. Not so much for the Melbourne vs St George
game on Monday night, when it just meant “next try wins!” Melbourne scored in the following set of
tackles (good try, too) to take the points, and the NRL looked into the matter
and announced that the clock on the scoreboard, the watch on the referee’s
wrist, and the full-time siren aren’t actually synched up. I’ve pressed buttons on watches before; my
watch was totally synched to the time of the bell all through school. That way, I knew to the second how much longer I had to wait to get beaten up catch
the school bus home so I could masturbate practice ninjitsu. I would even go so far as to say that I would
be happy to quit my job and be the official “guy who synchronises all of the
time-pieces in the NRL.” I'd be happy to quit my job entirely, to be perfectly Francis.
Another question raised was “how
rubbish is Ben Barba?” To which the
correct response is “as shit as Justin Hodges.”
They are a massive reason why I don’t like the Broncos, and another
reason as to why the Broncos aren’t going so well. I love it when a team’s “best player” comes
back from injury and they look like they’ve never even seen a football
before. I swear, Hodgey was so off his
game last Friday that he almost passed the ball. He didn’t, don’t worry, but I think it
crossed his mind. Barba, on the other
hand, is proving himself to be the league’s biggest waste of money. I’ve got a funny feeling that ol’ Benny will
be “injured” or “in rehab” in a few weeks – it’s just a bit lucky that the
Broncos bought seventeen other fullbacks in the off-season. It’s a perfect time to use the under-handed
sledge “I may not be the best fullback in the NRL, but at least I’m the best
fullback in my team” to him. They
probably won’t, but it would be worth a go.
Enough sensible talk, let’s get
into the tipping:
Round 7
How weird is it that Gold Coast
are still on top of the ladder? It makes
me feel a bit dirty. I’m tipping them to
stay there after this weekend, just quietly. The Dogs and the Rabbitohs game
is giving me the ummmms and aaaaaahs, just quietly. But since it’s Easter, I’m going with the Bunnies. There’s some logic. The Cowboys suck massive balls
right now, so there’s that taken care of.
St George will be pissed off that they lost last week in controversial
circumstances, so that will inspire theme to beat the Warriors. No one cares about the Roosters or the
Sharks, so don’t even bother tipping that match (for the record, I’ve gone for
the Roosters, but I wouldn’t be surprised to see a MAHOOSIVE upset there). Everyone’s favourite “Rags to Riches” teams
in the Eels and the Tigers are battling it out, and it’s only the injuries to
that spastic bloke I hate and their fullback who I like but he keeps hurting himself
that are making me tip the Eels.
South Sydney Rabbitohs vs Canterbury Bulldogs
Newcastle Knights vs Brisbane Broncos
Manly-Warringah Sea Eagles vs North Queensland Cowboys
St George-Illawarra Dragons vs New Zealand Warriors
Cronulla-Sutherland Sharks vs Sydney Roosters
Parramatta Eels vs Wests Tigers
Penrith Panthers vs Gold Coast Titans
Game of the Round
Canberra Raiders vs Melbourne Storm
It’s probably time for the Raiders
to bring in the “flood them with field goals” game plan I suggested last week,
although the Storm haven’t been looking too good lately, so they might keep it
hidden for the first 20 minutes. With a terrible
track record of playing at home, and an equally bad one when playing away, the
Raiders don’t seem to have a lot going their way right now. Maybe they should sack their coach? Everyone loves a good coach sacking. And hey, it worked wonders for the Eels to get
rid of Sticky Stuart.
Fuck it, I want the Raiders to
win. So I’m tipping Melbourne (trust me,
it works).
Todd Carney cements his spot in the "NRL's biggest twat" nominations
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