FUCK I RAN OUT OF TIME TO DO THIS STUPID BLOG BECAUSE MY STUPID BOSS WAS WATCHING YOUTUBE CLIPS OF THE SYDNEY HARBOUR BRIDGE BEING BUILT ALL DAY AND I WAS REALLY BUSY DOING WORK AND NOT WRITING THIS WHICH IS PROBABLY THE POINT OF MY JOB BUT I DON’T CARE.
NSW Blues and part-time Cowboy Jimmy “James” Tamou was busted for sinking piss and then jumping in his car (I will assume it’s a white 1984 Corolla, with one pale blue panel on the back where he reversed into a pole in a car park) and getting caught by the po-po. Consulting the “Rugby League Player’s Guide of What to Do When You Get Pulled Over by the Po-Po”, Tamou used the “But I’m a footy player but, hey?” defense, but was overruled (the cop was probably a Victorian or a Queenslander or not corrupt or something). The NRL also decided not to look at the “Rugby League Player’s Guide of What to Do When You Get Pulled Over by the Po-Po” chapter entitled “But I’m a footy player but, hey?” and fined him $20,000 and suspended him from State of Origin.
It’s probably about a decade too late, but I’m pretty happy that the league is coming down on fuckwits, even if they’re just accidental or unlucky fuckwits.
This is the round where I choose all teams playing at home. It’s actually purely a coincidence, it’s not that I decide that Round 14 is going to be that round. It just so happens that the home teams are the better ones.
Maybe except Manly. And I’ve got a sneaking suspicion that the Tigers will upset the Broncos. If they do, they’ll also upset me.
Dragons vs Cowboys
Sea Eagles vs Bulldogs
Sharks vs Eels
Rabbitohs vs Titans
Storm vs Knights
Roosters vs Warriors
Broncos vs Tigers
Game of the Round:
Raiders vs Panthers
The Raiders are looking to extend their winning run at Canberra “Call me Bruce” Stadium to a million (ten) in a row, but will do so without the services of Edrick Lee, who broke his arm last week while playing against the Broncos… yet remained on the field and completed the game. Anyone who “heard” Lee’s post-match “interview” now understands that he was probably telling the trainers on the field that his “forearm appears to be jutting out at an unusual angle, perhaps it is broken?” but they just did what everyone does when they have no idea what someone said and so they laugh a bit, sigh and then say, “Well, better head off now…”
Lee’s absence opens the door for Sandor Earl to make a reappearance… and possibly another disappearance as ASADA’s drug cheating shenanigans and stuff investigation continues. Despite ASADA claiming that “certain players” were being looked into at the Cronulla club, none were actually named. For Sandor to be picked out is a bit unfair, even if he is a bit of a dick.
So the Canberras play the Penriths this week. The chat from Raiders coach Dave Furner before the game will go something like, “Lads, don’t underestimate these boys. They’ve got good strikepower through… um… And their forwards are strong, in particular… um… their reserve bench is pretty good, maybe? And remember when Brad Fittler played for them in 1991?” The only player that anyone actually knows about in Penrith is Trevor Robinson, who is Canberra’s Reese Robinson’s identical twin. I hope they switch jerseys at half time and play the world’s best practical joke on Furner and… um… whoever the fuck is coaching at Penrith these days.
Work experience kid: Jumpers, scarves, big jackets. It's cold in Canberra. And Viking helmets. It ties in with the whole "Raiders" thing.
Raiders merchandise manager: Rubbish. Let's make them look like Fraggles.