Friday, June 21, 2013

NRL 2013 - Round 15: The Gem in the NRL Showcase

They say that the State of Origin period is where the NRL really comes into its own as a showcase for the sport and the players.  And they couldn’t be any more right if they tried.  Following on from Jimmy Tamou getting drunk and jumping behind the wheel of his car… after he had been previously suspended from driving… possibly for getting drunk and jumping behind the wheel of a car, Josh “Serial Fuckwit” Dugan and Blake “…” Ferguson got on the sauce at a pub in Cronulla the night before going into NSW Origin camp, were booted out because they’re dickheads, snuck back in, touched up a woman and were consequently asked to leave (again) and arrested for some kind of sexual misdemeanor.  This comes just before George Burgess hulked out while promoting rugby league in Cairns, where he ripped a Stop sign from the road and speared himself a Subaru (may not entirely have happened like that, but it’s close enough).  Mal Meninga then tsk-tsk-tsked his way to Brisbane about the uncouthness of youthness, before hitting the town to celebrate Cameron Smith’s beard’s 30th birthday and Billy Slater edging his way closer to puberty, sneaking behind the bar and attempting to pour himself a XXXX.  Due to Mal not being a recognised bartender at that particular establishment, his actions were deemed somewhat inappropriate and he was also asked to leave. 

It’s weeks like this that Nate Myles is regarded as “not a bad bloke… for a footy player.”

Round 15

Uugh.  This week is shit.  There’s only a handful of games to pick, but they’re all a bit iffy due to suspensions, arrests and drug charges.  Oh, and also Origin duties.

I’m not confident with any of these things, but I am somehow tipping the Doggies to beat the Roosters – Sonny Bill Williams is a massive pussy and is currently trying to break his own leg so he doesn’t have to play his first game against the club that he walked out on a few years back.  And because Moloney is out, I’m going to tip the Dogs.  That’s about all, really.
The Rabbits would normally just have to think about turning up to beat the Eels, but half of their side is also out due to representation, suspension and a delay in the Burgess breeding program, so this game might not be as clear cut as it should be.  It will be interesting to see how wee Chris Sandow goes against his old club too, although based on his form since leaving the Bunnies, it probably won’t be very good.
I’m tipping the Storm to beat the Titans.  Because, you know, Melbourne.  And, you know, Titans.

Bulldogs vs Roosters
Eels vs Rabbitohs
Titans vs Storm

Game of the Round

Tigers vs Raiders

It has been a tumultuous time at the Canberra HQ this week, as Ferguson was sent home from Origin in disgust, once again vowing to stay off the piss.  It was the first time that anyone at the Raiders had seen the guy sober.  “I think he has more personality after a few” was the resounding noise coming from the hallowed Bruce Stadium training session. 

The Raiders have a fucking horrible record at Cambelltown Stadium – it’s probably the lack of clean air and the abundance of discarded syringes in the turf that really gets to them.  Still, it’s the 2013 Tigers, so the Green Machine SHOULD sneak home by about 20.  It’ll be one of those games that is summarised by the post-match line of “the scoreline flattered us.”  Neither team will play well, and it should be called off around 60 minutes in.

Queensland vs New South Wales
I’m still tipping a Queensland win.  They were pretty uninspired in the last game, but I think a few players have come to the understanding that if they don’t perform in this game, they will probably lose some sponsorship money.  Oh, and also the series.

That’s about all, really.  I still don’t rate Cooper Cronk.  Glad Meritt finally got a game.  Sad that Gallen is such a prick.  I don’t know what the fascination is with Greg Bird.  You know, just the usual.

Why I could play rugby league reason #502:  I enjoy sitting down and crying

1 comment:

King Crack said...

Yet again you come through for me Evil. Your words of inspiration pushed the Tiges up over the line in another great win against the Green Menace. While in was not as good as last years 40-0 drubbing we will gladly take the two points. Potts should be in touch soon to offer you a job next season.

I was actually in the nations capital over the weekend and would like to apologise to all who were at the Southern Cross Club on Saturday night. Had there been better signage to the gents we could have avoided all that unpleasantness.