Thursday, March 28, 2013

NRL Round 4: Amusing headline about Slater kicking someone in the face

Last weekend saw a few upsets, some near-comebacks, a shoulder charge, a couple of injuries, the odd continuing drug investigation, and a ninja.  Just the usual in a round of NRL really.

The big divide in the NRL community (other than those with teeth and those without), was Billy “Ralph Macchio” Slater, who was finally penalised for his ridiculous aerial antics, where he will leap for a high kick with at least one leg (usually no more than two) at right angles to his body, with his studded boots at face-height to anyone around him.  In last week’s game, he took the head off some bloke whose name I can’t remember and couldn’t be fucked Googling.  Captain Cameron “Smithy” Smith immediately ran to the umpire complaining that the other bloke was going to tackle Slater in the air, so he pretty much deserved to have a size 7 shoe (Billy’s only a little man) wedged into his eye socket.  The thing that Smith didn’t contemplate was that everyone else on the field has the right to contest the ball while it is in the air, a tactic that is made difficult when you’re being kicked in the face. 

Billy went to the tribunal and used his watertight defence of “I’m Billy Slater” and was immediately let off without a charge, but was given some restaurant vouchers and an iTunes card to make up for the inconvenience of having to waste his Tuesday night.  

Round Four:

Sea Eagles vs Tigers
Bulldogs vs Rabbitohs
Broncos vs Storm
Sharks vs Dragons
Panthers vs Titans
Warriors vs Cowboys
Roosters vs Eels

Despite an unexpected loss last week, Manly should have enough to knock over the Tigers, who had a surprising win.  That’s probably the only “ffffffff” game in this round, really.  Even the Cowboys, who were shithouse on Monday night, shouldn't have any trouble this round - they’re only playing the Warriors, so should bounce back.  I’m fairly sure the Warriors are really only in the comp this year so they can give some confidence back to teams who lost the week before.

Game of the Round:

Knights vs Raiders

The Raiders destroyed the St Georges last week, continuing their unbeaten (by St George) run (at Canberra Stadium) to approximately a million games.  Reese “Reese Lighting” Robinson must get massive Raider-style boners about playing against the Saints, as he has scored about seventy tries against them in the last two years. 

However… this week the Raiders are up against a team without a hoodoo, a team coming off a thrashing of the Cowboys, a team with one of the most formidable coaches and tacticians in the game, a team with a nice logo and a decent colour scheme, a team with the appeal from the year 2003 (and most of the players) – the Newcastle Knights.  I hate to do it, but I’m going against the Raiders for this one.  As much as I love them (in that way), they appear vulnerable way too often and in way too many different areas; they leak yards in the middle and tries on the flanks.  They are quite good looking though, so that counts for something.

I hope they prove me wrong, but alas – this week my money is on the Knights.

Holy shit, I put in two pictures this week.  Both are of some bloke's face recklessly attacking Slater's shoe
Current tally of Raiders Lime cartons personally consumed: 2

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