Monday, March 07, 2011

The Cricket World Cup can now begin

Sorry for the lack of posting lately - I've been smoking crack with Charlie Sheen and it took me longer than I thought.

Faithful followers of this blog (both of you) have probably asked yourself "Where's Mister Evil Breakfast's Cricket World Cup write-up?" Well, to be perfectly honest, there had not been a Cricket World Cup going on until yesterday, because Mike Hussey had been omitted from the Australian team due to injury.

During the billionth pointless ODI this year, Mike Hussey tore his hamstring off the bone in his leg. Reports say that he tore it on purpose just to give the Poms a chance to win the game. They didn't.

After ripping out his hamstring, Huss then did his own surgery to reattach it without anaesthetic, using only a ball-point pen and three paper clips to prove beyond any shadow of a doubt that he is the manliest man since Roger Ramjet to set foot on this earth. Then he leapt off the operating theatre, kicked the shit out of a buffalo and ran across the Nullabor back to Perth to play in a Sheffield Shield game. He made 19 runs in the first innings and 11 runs in the second, which is still pretty good considering that he didn't take a bat with him and was swigging on a bottle of Johhny Walker at the same time.

Huss swam across the ocean to India, stopping briefly to impregnate a chick five times and taunt Kevin Pieterson for being a massive bitch. But now Hussey is back in the Aussie team, and the World Cup can begin.

Mike Hussey is so attractive, it's dangerous to show his entire head in photos

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