Friday, March 18, 2011

NRL 2011 Round Two: Go Fish

The first round of a sporting season is always tricky to tip – let’s be honest, most of the blokes running around on the field hadn’t met each other yet and needed to keep looking down at their shirt to remember which team they were on. Round Two, however, is a different kettle of fish entirely. Just quietly, a kettle of fish would probably make the world’s worst cup of coffee, and most likely wouldn’t be entirely pleasant for the fish either. It’s not like a squid on a waterslide (which is fun for everyone).

Eels v Panthers
Storm v Titans
Tigers v Warriors
Cowboys v Knights
Rabbitohs v Bulldogs
Roosters v Sea Eagles
Sharks v Dragons

It’s always good to tip a few upsets, except for when they don’t win (most of the time). But this time they will.

Big Mal brings the cup home to Canberra. I am near the back wearing a hat. Look for me.

Raiders v Broncos

It’s a little-known fact that Jesus was a massive Raiders fan, and his experiences at the Canberra Stadium get a bit of a Guernsey in the Bible:

“…and Jesus did take his disciples to the stadium and decreed, ‘Peter, your God has spoken and has decided that you must go unto the bar, and bring us back several cans of VB and a couple of pies.’ But when Peter did place his order, he was told that there were no more pies. Upon hearing this, Jesus did say unto Peter, ‘Give me $20 and I will turn it into food.’ Peter presented the money to Jesus who summoned the Word of the Lord. He went to a bar about fifteen metres from the one that Peter was denied, gave thanks and praise and twenty dollars, and was able to feed his friends with pastry filled with meat and gravy. Peter saw this miracle and he believed. ‘Did you bring sauce?’ he asked. ‘Yes,’ replied Jesus, and all who received sauce on their pie were truly grateful. ‘Did you get chips?’ asked Thomas. ‘I’m not lining up again,’ said Jesus. ‘Get your own fucking chips.’ And those around him did laugh, because no-one really liked Thomas, and would steal his chips when he came back anyway.”

MEB current footy tipping score: 3

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Turns out even Jesus is wrong sometimes..