Thursday, March 10, 2011

NRL 2011 Round 1: The Toothless Sharks

Welcome to season 2011, it’s nice to have you with us for another year of tips and picks for the wonderful game of rugby league. The NRL had a successful launch last week with one player being charged with assault and another for driving under the influence. There are still a few hours to go before kick-off, so I wouldn’t be surprised if someone didn’t add some sexual misconduct in there too – but I would be surprised if I was the one being misconducted. In the rare instance that I do get touched up by a pissed league player though, I always carry a camera and a copy of PhotoShop around with me.

This year’s tipping format will be slightly different from last year in that I’m not going to bore everyone shitless with a synopsis of each game. I have instead decided to concentrate all of my power into the mighty Canberra Raiders and will give my full attention to them (I think that was a sexual innuendo), unless there’s something else I’d rather talk about; in which case you should be prepared for some recent scientific theories about dinosaurs or how annoying that Natasha girl from Neighbours is.

And so, here we go for Rrrrrrrround One!

Broncos vs Cowboys

Roosters vs Souths

Titans vs Dragons

Warriors vs Eels

Storm vs Manly

Panthers vs Knights

Dogs vs Tigers

Raiders vs Sharks

2010 was a disappointing year for the Sharks, as the Grey Nurse took over the Great White as being “raddest fish in the sea” and Greg Norman lost to Happy Gilmore in a game of Pitch n Putt. Seriously, who the fuck are the Sharks? No one, that’s who. The Raiders will piss this one in, which is handy, because I’m buying them all beers before, during and after the game. I love you, Josh Dugan! WOOOO!

Close enough, Doogs.

PS. I love Alan Tongue too – one day he nodded ‘hello’ to me as we rode our bikes past each other. Either that or he was trying to crack onto me. Or he was trying to tell me that I had forgotten to put on pants.

PPS. I love Terry Campese as well, even though he has a broken leg. I will feed him grapes in his hospital bed if he wants (Terry, do you want me to come over this weekend? I am free on Saturday morning and after the game on Sunday. And on Monday, cause it’s a public holiday).


Anonymous said...

Maybe you'll want to put a facebook button to your site. Just marked down the url, but I must do this manually. Simply my $.02 :)

Mister Evil Breakfast said...

Dear Anonymous,

What the hell are you talking about? I can understand each individual word in your comment, but when I put them together it hurts my brain and my eyes and my knee.

If you could just explain to me what you mean (explain it like I'm a Brumbies player), that would be tops. Otherwise, I'm sure you, Stephen Hawking and the guy from The Big Bang Theory can all sit around and talk amongst yourselves.

Much love, MEB