Friday, May 21, 2010

Round 11: Feeling Good

Welcome to Origin week. Exciting, no? No. Let’s just crack on, as I am pushed for time and I’ve got the feeling I’m the only one who still reads this blog.

Knights vs Tigers
Ummmmmm... They both suck, and the Knights’ only good player is playing State of Origin... and he’s not even that good. If the Tigers stop taking so many drugs before the game (and not the good drugs), they should win. Note: I said ‘should.’ I also said ‘if the Tigers stop taking drugs.’ Neither of these things are set in stone.

Eels vs Sharks
These two water-dwelling animals finally come head-to-head or face-to-face or gill-to-gill or something-to-something for what is shaping up to be a fairly ordinary game. I’m just going to pick the Eels. Without Jarryd Hayne being a massive underachiever (and using too many Y’s in his name), they should be able to do whatever it is that eels do to defeat their prey.

Warriors vs Rabbitohs
Go you Bunnies. I’m so confident that they’ll win that I’m going to steal something valuable from work, pawn it and bet the money on them to win by about 20. I wonder how much I’ll get for a stapler? Probably a lot, it still has staples in it.

Dragons vs Raiders
For one, you’d be mad to tip against the Raiders. They’re in a rare streak of great form right now. They even scored a try last week, which was just tops. Yes, I don’t see this game going any other way that a massive Canberra victory. Yep. Totally.

Panthers vs Bulldogs
Oh fuck I don’t know. Oh wait, yes I do. Panthers; because I don’t like the Bulldogs that much. There’s probably other ways to go about this whole tipping thing, but I’m just going to base it on hatred.

The definition of “mad” is when you repeat the same process and expect a different result. The NSW selectors must be fucking insane stark raving-mad lunatics who dribble on themselves and fling shit around their padded cells. They pick the same spastics who didn’t win the previous year to have another bash at it, and then ask them to play in positions that they aren’t even good enough to play for their club.

Brett Kimmorley is the most surprised person in the world every week when he gets picked to play for the Bulldogs; imagine his surprise when he was named in the NSW side. I doubt his eyebrows will ever come down. QLD will annihilate the Blues by a million points. Possibly two million.

Tip tip hooray!

Brett Kimmorley accepts the phone call from NSW selectors on his invisible phone

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