Wednesday, July 09, 2008

whip hubley

Hollywood movie producers are looking at the little screen for their next big-screen success story, following the recent blockbuster Sex and the City. Based on four promiscuous, not entirely attractive old women, the show was a massive ratings winner for the networks lucky enough to have snagged the rights for it. The stories revolved around Carrie, Charlotte, the redhead chick and Samantha as they looked for love, romance and 'the perfect guy' in New York City, which proved to be quite difficult for the 'charmingly neurotic' women as they continued to find insignificant reasons to break up with decent men. In one episode that I may be making up, Carrie breaks up with her boyfriend after it is revealed that he only pretended to like cats while he was quite clearly more of a 'dog-person', or when Charlotte was urged to "hurry up and get changed" by her boyfriend who had arrived to pick her up for a date at an expensive restaurant that he had to pay for just to get a booking. Here's a newsflash for you, Charlotte: He doesn't care what you wear, just hurry the fuck up before they give the table away.

The series lasted around 90 years, which is also roughly how long the movie goes for. To date, it has grossed over $145,248,592 at the box-office. It is assumed that around $15 of that has come from people who have a set of testicles.

The interest in Sex and the City has also inspired the six main characters of Friends to rejoin for a movie-length episode of the highly-popular sitcom. Questions like: Will Ross and Rachel ever work it out? Will Chandler and Monica ever have a decent argument that's not resolved by one of them saying "I love you"? How do Phoebe and Joey manage to live in nice apartments and always have enough cash to hang around at a cafe all day, go out to dinner every night, see every movie that is released, have season tickets to the baseball, ice hockey and football, plus own designer clothes and throw lavish parties at will despite not having real jobs? are all set to be answered on the big screen.

An insider (i.e. someone with a blog) announced "David Schwimmer and Jennifer Aniston are the first to make positive noises regarding the film and it is thought once they are on board the others will follow suit."

That positive noise is often called ‘talking’, and it is assumed that the Friends actors are looking to add another page to their already impressive resume, which include The Pallbearer (David Schwimmer), Rock Star (Jennifer Aniston), The Whole Nine Yards (Matthew Perry) and Lost in Space (Matt le Blanc).

The TV-to-Movie phenomenon is not just exciting for fans of the original television series, but for the actors themselves, as they finally get more work after less than stellar performances in playing ‘other’ roles.

“Rachel is such a great character to play,” says Aniston. “I figure that since she was so great to play in Friends, it would be great to play her in Office Space and Along Came Polly, which were great movies as well. It was great to be able to show Rachel in a different setting, like, a different cafĂ© from the one she normally works in.”

Other rumoured small screen adaptations include Family Matters, where Jaleel White will reprise the once-famous Urkel character for a new generation of nerds. “Nerds today aren’t about science projects and calculators,” he has stated in interviews. “Now it’s all about World of Warcraft, the internet and being socially awkward, not socially retarded. It’s a very new approach to Steve Urkel’s character; one that I think will be really fun to play.”

Patrick Duffy has re-signed to play Frank Lambert in a movie-length Step by Step and Dave Coulier is in negotiations to make a comeback as Uncle Joey in Full House, but things aren’t as clear-cut on the set of the Saved by the Bell motion picture, with Dustin ‘Screech’ Diamond the only actor to turn up. “I guess the other guys got new jobs,” he remarks with his head slightly bowed. “Or maybe they’re playing another prank and are hiding in Mr Belding’s office.” After a brief search that reveals nothing, he continues to wait on the set “just in case.”

Australia will also attempt to cash in on the latest Hollywood fad, with several shows rumoured to be getting the treatment, including Pugwall, which features the Orange Organics struggling with the price of fame, fortune and the worst band name ever; as well as a movie-length feature of Con the Fruiterer. “People still relate to Con, I think this will be another step forward for the Australian Film Industry,” actor Mark Mitchell says. “I’ve read a first draft of the script, and it is really, really funny. It’s even better than the stuff I used to do for The Comedy Company. Really.”


surlyraider said...

So basicall SATC is about 3 whores and their mother, right?

Anonymous said...

Hey surely you appreciate that Office Space is the greatest movie of all time?! :)