Thursday, June 21, 2007

Mister Footy Tips NRL Breakfast

G'day tigers,

It's Friday (maybe) and that means everyone in the known world will get to about 4:30, crack a beer and think about the weekend, then someone will say, "Did you do your footy tips?" and then there'll be a massive rush to get to the computer to punch in your teams for the weekend. No wonder the internet is so slow around 5pm, the entire universe is logging on to do their tips.

Here are mine:

Warriors/Panthers - well... the Panthers are a better team, but rarely turn up to play these days. And I'm never sure if Rhys Wesser is actually ever running fast. Or if Wesser has an H in it. I don't think so. But the Warriors have a thousand players in their team without vowels in their names, so they win on the hardest to spell comp. So the Warriors to win this one by 12. Choice.

Manly/Bulldogs - basically a decision for who I hate more. Which is Manly. But since I'm not doing so well in the tips this year, I'll have to go against my guts and pick a winner. So Manly by a thousand, cause the Dogs are SHIT.

Raiders/Cowboys - The Cowboys are out and out the best team in the North Queensland area. Unfortunately, they don't like to show off too often, so have decided to lose their last few games by the small matter of a million points. And they're the Raiders, so I have to tip them. And it's in Canberra, and it's cold, so the Raiders should quite easily post a century. Will Zillman could be in for man of the match.

Roosters/Eels - I hate the Roosters. Probably cause Braith Anasta plays for them. But moreso because they're crap little girls who plait each other's hair in the change room. They don't tackle because they're afraid of breaking nails or ruining their hair. Except Craig Wing, who is worried his mascara might run. But he'll always wipe some dirt on his face by the end of the game. It drives the girlies wild cause he's "rough". But he's just signed on for the Bunnies, so he's null and void anyway, moreso than usual. Parra by 18.

Titans/Knights - any team with Matt Rogers in it should be hated. Like the way any team that had Anthony Mundine in it should be hated. So I'd say GO KNIGHTS, but they will most likely lose, so tip the Titans, but secretly go for Newcastle. Andrew Johns is rolling over in his wheelchair.

Souths/Sharkies - Hmmmm... if this were a contest in the wild, I'd probably tip the Sharks. Rabbits can get quite vicious if you piss them off and corner them, but I still don't think they'd beat a shark. Especially if they were in water. If it's a land battle... yeah, I'd probably still tip the Sharks. By 14.

Storm/Dragons - Mundine ruined the Dragons. Actually, Jamie Ainscough ruined the Dragons. Ricky Walford almost made up for that, but not quite. And Rod Wishart will live on as the only Steeler anyone can remember. The Storm are going pretty bloody well, so we'll have to assume they'll touch up the Dragons by about 24 points.

Broncos/Tigers - The Broncos have always been a great team. Even when they weren't around, I would back them. But now they're not so good, but I always think they still are. FUCK. Does that make sense? No? Too bad. They'll lose, but I'm tipping them, because I have a funny feeling Alan Langer will come back. And Michael Hancock. And I don't like the Tigers much without Benji. Broncs by 2. Yep, it's a close one.

Good luck, and I will not be held accountable for loss of body organs to pay for your gambling losses.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Mister Footy should not be confused with Mr Football. Even though it is confusing.

This is a crazy world we live in, an example is Paris Hilton being sent to jail. You know the world is out of kilter when a person can't buy their way out of a jail term. FUCKEN HELL what value does money have if you cant use it.

Mr Footbal