Thursday, January 19, 2017

Trump: the Drinking Game

Have a drink. A lot of drinks, so many drinks. The best drinks. 
All eyes will soon move to the land of opportunity as the world watches the next hilarious episode of "America" when local Oompa Loompa Donald Trump takes his place on the throne as President of the White House.  

Obviously we're all a bit scared-yet-interested by what the fuck is going to happen over the next four years and how the "greatest nation on earth" will fare by having the "greatest fuckwit on earth" at the helm.  It's a bold strategy that Captain America has created, let's see if it pays off for them.  Personally, I am still waiting for Donald Trump to take his mask off to reveal that he is Andy Kaufman, and telling everyone that they are massive fucking idiots for letting this happen.  

In the off-chance that this doesn't happen, you should arm yourself with your favourite beverage and wave small American flags as you chant "You Essay" while President Elect Donald Trump becomes President Trump, erect.

Image result for trump

1 drink:
- when he makes that hand gesture where it kind of looks like he's either giving the "ok" sign  or giving out handjobs to midgets (or pulling imaginary flags out of his nose).  
- whenever he audibly sniffs.  BONUS GAME: sniff along at home, and the last person in the room to sniff has to take a double drink.   
- every time he doubles up on the word "great."
- the phrases "believe me", "trust me" and "it's true."
- the word "huge."  BONUS GAME:  everyone in the room must ask "how big?" and the last person to respond "huge" has an extra drink.
- the word "unbelievable."  
- when he pronounces "China" like "jhyna."
- every time he mentions that he has a friend.
- for every mention of "everyone is saying..." or "people are saying."

2 drinks:
whenever he practices his superfluous scale: “...we are going to have good plans.  We’re going to have great plans.  They’re going to be the best plans.”
- whenever he makes a quick addendum to a racist or controversial blanket statement:    
"Mexico is sending a lot of people across our borders. These are not good people. They are bad people. These are the worst people. Meth dealers, drugs dealer, criminals, rapists. They are crossing our borders in great numbers. Huge numbers. These bad people are just crossing into our country. Bad people. Well, some of them are good people."
- when he announces "fixing" a problem, but doesn't go into detail about what that actually means.
- for a self-compliment.
- if he has just invented a word; bonus drink if that word is "bigly."

3 drinks:

- if he mentions grabbing pussy.  
- when he slags off reporters.  Bonus drink if he does an impression of one.
- when he announces his expertise at something.  Have a bonus if it's as vague as being "an expert at military."
- if he finishes the speech with the line: "Obama, you're fired!"

God bless America.

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