Friday, August 23, 2013

NRL 2013 Round 24: I'm sorry Dave, I can't let you do that...

A cracker of a Canberra Appreciation Month week this week, as David Furner was given the arse by the Canberra Raiders as head coach of the Greenus Machinas.  With a Ninja-Turtle handful of games to play for the rest of the year, one must ponder the reasoning behind sacking a coach so late in the season.  My guess would be to lure new players to the nation’s capital in the off-season, with the main attraction being “David Furner is not here.”

Personally, I liked Dave Furner.  Unfortunately it appears that Blake Ferguson and I were the only ones.  Speaking of Fergo, the sacking of Mr Furner means that he has a ‘Get out of Jail Free’ card (not literally), as his contract stipulates that he can seek an escape clause from the Raiders if Dave Furnsie is not the head coach.  I guess he can fuck off back to Cronulla then, although I have been rubbing my crystal ball lately (not literally) and reckon he’ll line up at the Roosters next year. 

The Raiders also managed to lose young up-and-comer Anthony Milford, although there’s still a whole lot of “get fucked” “no, youse get fucked” going on about giving him a release from his contract to go and live with his old man in Queensland.  So he wants to play for the Broncos, who are understandably excited about that, because it could mean that they could finally get rid of Peter Wallace. 

What does it all mean?  Basically that the Raiders lost Furner, Ferguson and Milford in one week, but on the other hand, might have made room for Peter Wallace.  HAAHAHAHA.  Kill me now.

Round 24

Panthers vs Broncos
Rabbitohs vs Bulldogs
Dragons vs Tigers
Titans vs Warriors
Cowboys vs Knights
Storm vs Eels
Sharks vs Roosters

Fairly cut and dry round for 24, with a couple of noodle scratchers in the Panthers-Broncos game, because you never know just how shit either of them will be; the Titans and the Warriors will be playing to remain in finals contention (although realistically, neither team would get past the first round of finals, so are probably both already looking forward to their end-of-season trip to Bali); and the Cowboys vs Newcastle game, which has about the same repercussions. 

Actually, turns out there’s a few games that could go either way.

My money is still on a Souths vs Melbourne grand final – the Chooks can go get fucked, and Manly are homos.  I just wish that the Burgess brothers would stop being dickheads by throwing street signs through cars, taking photos of their dick on Instagram and blatantly grabbing other people’s nuts during games.  I want to like them, but they’re making it a bit hard (not in that way, you sickos).

Game of the Round

Raiders vs Sea Eagles

Canberra should romp this one in – history shows that the team who sacks their coach after being flogged by everyone comes back the next week in a “who wants a flogging” mood themselves.  Except that statistically, that team is more likely to win the following week.  ANYWAY.  We shall see if the whole “Dave Furner’s coaching was losing us games” argument rings true this weekend, as the Green Machine come sputtering up against Manly, who are sitting pretty-ish on the ladder somewhere in or around the top four. 

Personally, I don’t think getting rid of the head-banded one is going to help things at all, and I’m tipping a Manly victory this weekend.  Of course, that won’t stop Geoff Toovey crying like a little bitch about how the referees don’t like him and won’t invite him to their birthday party, which is, personally, my favourite part of a Manly game.  Well, that and seeing Steve Matai get sent off.

Manly by… thirteen.  I love field goals.

Dave Furner looks fitter now that he did when he was playing.  And he was really quite good when he was playing.  Maybe he should pull the headband on again for 2014.

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