Friday, June 17, 2011

NRL 2011 Round 15: My knee is itchy

So the post-Origin hangover should be well and truly out of everyone’s system by now, and the taste of Paul Gallen’s monstrous 80-minute Lazarus-like knob has been washed out of every sports journalist’s mouth (I don’t count) and we can all collapse back into the regular season.

Congrats to NSW, who did what few people thought they’d ever be able to do – win a game of football. Hopefully this will inspire other retarded teams to go out and dream that impossible dream and achieve victory. Pity the Raiders aren’t playing this week. On the plus side, it gives them another couple of days to (a) keep cleaning the trays in McDonalds restaurants, and (b) recover from the massive round of testicle-kicking I promised them after losing last week.

There’s an awkward feeling you get when you walk out of a movie with your friends and they’re all saying, “That was the greatest movie I’ve ever seen!” and you’re thinking, “I can’t believe that this movie was ever allowed to be made, let alone that I actually paid money to sit and watch it.” I got this feeling after reading some reports about Origin. It wasn’t the worst game I’ve ever seen (I have been a Raiders fan for a long time, after all), but for an exhibition of the game’s best players, there was a lack of spark, fluency and creativity from the backlines of each team. I mean, we don’t expect much from NSW, or for that matter, any team that has Mitchell Pearce involved, but with Thursty “Shit Tatts” Thurston and Dazzler “Batman” Lockyer running the show for the Aubergines, there was a distinct lack of crisp cut-out passes to players running into gaps, sneaky dummies and set plays that were pulled off with precision. As the Blues continued to pile on some great defensive pressure, the Queenslanders just didn’t adapt their game to counter it.

That was a long and sensible paragraph that had way too many insights into the sport. I apologise; it won’t happen again (it might).

Broncos v Dragons
Rabbitohs v Titans
Knights v Panthers
Cowboys v Warriors
Bulldogs v Sharks
Tigers v Storm
Sea Eagles
v Eels

How much did I suck at tipping last week? Yep, plenty. And don’t think I wouldn’t do it again, either.

The Hayne Plane has been grounded due to volcanic ash and the fact that he is shit

MEB cumulative score: 56

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