Thursday, February 24, 2011

Oscar predictions Part 2: Oscar's Revenge

Welcome to Part 2 of Mister Evil Breakfast and Todd the Psychic Dinosaur’s Oscar Predictions (MEBATTPDOP).

Today we delve into the world of Supporting Actors. The problem with giving awards to Supporting Actors is that you don’t know whether they deserve credit for being really good in a shit role, or if they should be recognised for making up for the lack of acting ability of the lead actor. There’s probably more to it than that, but in my world, all movies have three people – the lead, the support and an extra who changes hats to appear in all other scenes.

Actor in a Supporting Role
Christian Bale in The Fighter - John Hawkes in Winter's Bone - Jeremy Renner in The Town - Mark Ruffalo in The Kids Are All Right - Geoffrey Rush in The King's Speech

This is going to be a hotly contested contest, honestly, considering that WHO THE FUCK ARE JEREMY RENNER AND JOHN HAWKES? I’ve heard of the other blokes, although the name Mark Ruffalo makes me think of a young Mark Wahlberg, which I’m sure isn’t right (or healthy).

Fuck it, I’m backing Batman for this one.

Todd the Psychic Dinosaur reckons Aussie Geoff Rush was robbed for his performance in Mystery Men, so he’s giving him the nod.

Actress in a Supporting Role
Amy Adams in The Fighter - Helena Bonham Carter in The King's Speech - Melissa Leo in The Fighter - Hailee Steinfeld in True Grit - Jacki Weaver in Animal Kingdom

I went to a wedding last year and a girl at my table changed my seat so she could sit with her friend. She reminded me of Amy Adams, even though I’m not entirely sure I know which one Amy Adams is. I imagine her to be a bit like Reese Witherspoon, but a bit taller.

Anyway, Amy Adams won’t win. Helena Bonham Carter is in with a chance, as she’s playing a role unlike anything in her career – a movie without Tim Burton or Johnny Depp. Melissa Leo won’t win because I don’t know her (as an aside, is anyone involved with The King's Speech and The Fighter not nominated for something?), same with Hailee Steinfeld, which isn’t even a name. Which basically brings us to Aussie Jacki Weaver, who was pretty damn good in Animal Kingdom (one of the three movies I have seen), but she won’t win either. I guess this means that HBC is the front-runner, simply because I know her, she isn’t a tall version of Reese Witherspoon and isn’t foreign to American audiences.

Todd the Psychic Dinosaur thinks Hailee is in with a good chance, despite neither of us knowing her or the film she’s nominated for. True Grit? Sounds like the sequel (or prequel) to True Lies, which, despite being mildly entertaining, probably doesn’t deserve an Oscar.

Stay tuned for tomorrow’s instalment of Oscar shenanigans, where we skip pretty much all the shit categories and even some of the good ones.

You know that feeling where you need to pee, so you walk into the toilet and that need gets a hundredfold worse and then your zip gets stuck, and you have to start dancing and bending awkwardly so you don’t wet yourself while you wrestle with your fly and the pee feeling just keeps getting stronger?

Yeah, I just had that experience.


Anonymous said...

I can't believe I read this shit

Mister Evil Breakfast said...

Don't worry man, I can't believe I wrote it.