Thursday, August 27, 2009


Canberra men have been put on notice the women of the ACT think they are a bunch of unfunny, horny, egotistical commitment-phobes.

At least that's what an online survey of 3700 people around the country has found.
The survey, commissioned by adult dating site, found men of the nation's capital were ''petrified'' of commitment, most likely to want sex on the first date, and the least funny of any state or territory.

They are also the least romantic.

However, the survey found they had the best level of hygiene, the best bodies, the best earning potential and the best dress sense.

I do like some social commentary. This particular ‘story’ calls Canberran men “unfunny, horny, egotistical commitment-phobes.” This means that Canberran men fit into the mould that the rest of the world call “men”. Quick, call Rove and Charlie Pickering to tell them that men enjoy sex and appear reluctant to enter a relationship. This is groundbreaking stuff right here. They might even spawn a new fucked-up dog’s balls of a show about it. As long as Rove gets to carry on his unusual obsession with Elmo, that’s all that matters.

Since the dawn of time, men have enjoyed sex. Women might also enjoy it; I don’t know – I haven’t bothered asking. Besides, they might charge extra if there are questions involved. By the way, that was a joke. It was a fucking hilarious joke. Don’t call men unfunny just because you don’t understand the humour.

The report then goes on to give us capital blokes a lift by saying that the survey revealed that the lads of Canberra “had the best level of hygiene, the best bodies, the best earning potential and the best dress sense.”

Some Canberrians might read this and think, “Yeah, fuck yeah! Score one for the boys!” I read this and think, “You fucking superficial bitches.” Apparently chicks are only after us for our chiselled abs, Armani suits and bags of cash. I wonder why we’re so “commitment-phobic” when it comes to gold-digging idiots with no sense of humour?

A great experience for everyone - licking a real life Canberra man.

1 comment:

April said...

At least the gals from Berra have men to complain about! Here in littl' ol' WA bachelors are like Tasmanian Devils. No, not carnivorous scavengers that hunt slow, unsuspecting prey (although, on second thoughts…) but an endangered species! Appreciate the fact that you have blokes to complain about ladies!