Thursday, March 06, 2008

Who's the distributor? Who's the slingshotter? The whippest?

Ponting sleeps at first slip,8659,23327197-23212,00.html

This will be my last cricket post for a while. It's footy season now, anyway. Go Raiders.

In case you don't follow the link above, I've gone to the trouble of summarising it for you. Because I love you.

Basically, Mr Ricky Chipmunk Fucking Ponting has called for "fresh blood" to be brought into the Aussie cricket team. This comes after they were humiliated by a group of pre-pubescent Indians who exploited the Aussies' inability to hit, catch or bowl a cricket ball. I hope Chipmunk realises that this means that he's just asked for someone to sack him.

Chipmunk Punter has given the excuse of being "overworked" in the past year. Ahem. Australia played 6 test matches and 30 or so one-day internationals. If each test match went for 5 days (and they didn't), you would have played something like 35 days worth of cricket. I'll be generous and give you an extra 15 days. 50 days out of a year isn't a lot of work, tiger. Drink your fucking cowboy juice (don't forget your shithouse vitamins as well) and TOUGHEN THE FUCK UP.

Welcome to your last year as an Australian player, Richard T. Ponting. Your uselessness as captain will be quickly found out as you realise that you can't just throw the rock to McGrath or Warne when you're looking for wickets, and you can't rely on someone like S.R. Waugh to knuckle down and bat out two hours of hostile fast bowling. Thanks for announcing your retirement, Ricky. We'll miss you like someone misses a genital rash.

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