I'm just going to kick this post off with a quick message: I fucking hate Manly.
Seriously. Fucking hate them. There’s just something so fucking fucked about them that I can’t bear to tip them. So I’m not. Despite the fact that I think they are a better team than the Cowboys, I just can’t do it. Sometimes I think, “Yeah, those dickheads are aaaaaaall right.” And then something happens and I realise, “those dickheads are still massive fucking douchecanoes.” And they are.
This week, Steve Matai has complained that he is unfairly treated every time he goes to the rugby league judiciary. I don’t understand his rationale. Steve plays a game, gets cited for a reckless/careless/retarded high tackle, goes to the tribunal, gets his usual seat and a coffee in his own personalised mug, watches himself on television taking some bloke’s head off, the panel gives him a three week suspension, everyone says “see you next month then!”, arrange a barbecue for the next weekend and they head off. I’m not sure what part of this is getting up Steve’s goat – does he want a comfier chair? Should they just move the tribunal hearings to his lounge-room so he can get suspended without missing the X-Factor? Does he want extra milk in his coffee?
Or maybe he should fucking just learn how to tackle.
Sorry Manly fans, but there’s too much complaining coming from the Warringah part of the world (apparently it’s somewhere in Sydney), that it has just turned me off tipping your pack of miserable, whinging dickheads. Cowbs to win on the back of what Geoff Toovey will complain about being a “controversial penalty” regardless of whether the penalty was in the first 20 seconds or the last.
Manly vs Cowboys
Game of the Round:
Raiders vs Rabbits
RAIDERSZ WOOAS I am so toaly still durnk form the Raizers winninG over the sharps WHATAGREATFUCKINGGAMEWOOOOOOO bring on the Buns youlosers!!11 Y’oure no macth for the Grean Machhine with yor Sam Burgess & your Dave Taylor & your Greg Inglis & your Isaac Luke…
And I just got sober.
I’m not saying that the Raiders upcoming victory is going to be easy – to get over the tryline means having to go for a swift 8km jog to get around Dave Taylor’s arse, and another 12km hike to get over Inglis’ wallet. Using my outstanding powers of mathematics, I have deduced that that is roughly 27 kilometres extra. That sounds like a long way.
Let’s call a spade a spade here – unless you want to call it a shovel – unless the origins of that phrase are inherently racist, then you should just avoid the situation completely – the Raiders are shit hot right now, and the Rabbitohs are as patchy as a vegie patch that grows patchwork quilts for a spotty dog named Patch. If Canberra can keep the big boys quiet, they’ll go a long way towards winning the game. Unfortunately, those big boys basically number 1-17, so that presents an issue or two. Or seventeen.
Still, I think the Bunnies will underestimate the Men in Green, and an upset is very much on the cards. Blake Ferguson and Sandor Earl don't know how not to score a try, and the forward pack is stepping up to meet their challenges. Josh Papali did a job last week to shut Paul Gallen's squinty face down, and will be up again to do the same to Taylor and Sutton. With a wave of support behind them, put a sneaky tenner on Canberra. Raiders by 10.
My new Raiders man-crush: Joe Picker