During the week, the English Super League announced that their very expensive foray into North American rugby league, the Toronto Wolfpack, was pulling out of the competition, citing travel issues, COVID isolation restrictions, and the fact that they really just couldn't be fucked playing this year. I can attest to that. I haven't got out of my tracky daks in about three months.
Usually the collapse of a competition on the other side of the planet doesn't really affect the NRL at all, but this one has opened up an opportunity for the former NRL players who had signed onto the Super League to rejoin the Australian competition. Normally we would welcome Josh McCrone home with open arms and a shotgun, but the player causing most of the ruckus so far is Sonny Bill Williams.
Sonny Bill was an elite player, back in the day. He is a fair fucking unit of a bloke, just quietly, and I probably wouldn't try to fight him unless I'd had about thirteen pints beforehand. He played for the Canterbury Bulldogs from 2004 til 2008, before fucking off to France to play a few seasons of kick & clap rugby union - obviously he was a great team player with pride in his jersey as he played for Toulon before heading back to New Zealand to play for Canterbury, then to the Crusaders, the Chiefs and a stint in Japanese rugby with the Panasonic Knights, before receiving a "handshake deal" and about sixty paper bags filled with money to rejoin the NRL and play for the Roosters in 2013. Then he fucked off again to play for Counties Manukau, back to the Chiefs, had a giggle in Rugby 7s, then signed on (for what it's worth) to the Blues, before he decided to add another twelve pools to his house with the Toronto deal.
Now he wants to come back, and fuck me drunk, the Roosters have announced that they have room in their salary cap to sign him for the second half of this season.
The Roosters. Room. Salary cap. Sonny Bill.
Announced. In. Sign. They. This.
Despite a roster with 12 out of 17 starting spots occupied by former or current representative players (with at least three others only missing out due to injury), the Roosters somehow have room to continue to sign the best players on the planet, which is lucky for the obviously-struggling club as they attempt a rare three-premiership-wins in a row this year.
We can only hope that the Sonny Bill deal goes ahead, he's about as shit as a 35-year old who's been playing union for the last decade in between beating up older, fatter guys as a heavyweight boxer, can possibly be.
Round 11
Parramatta Eels vs Wests Tigers
The Tigers went on Twitter to have a chatter about Ryan Matterson,
said "doesn't matter, son, we're not all that bitter, son,
you natter that the betting is much better at Parramatta."
Now he's fitter and he's better, standing next to King Clint Gutherson.
and now he's looking kind of blue.
Caught red-handed, in black and white
Fed by silver spoon.
No rose-coloured glasses, or shades of grey
for the yellow-bellied Cows
True colours shine or white flags out for new coach Josh Hannay.
To save the Broncos' game
He's switching 1s and 2s and 5s
But the results are all the same.
Can Siebold pluck a winner
from the mighty Melbourne Storm?
Fuck no. Not likely. Snowball's chance.
At least til Boyd is gone.
But there's worries that the Warriors can get worse from week to week
We wonder if the Warriors will worry any team
Or if the worst and waning Warriors will wake and Mary weep?
to win the weekend's rematch of last year's biggest dance
With Bateman gone and Hodgson's knee inverted on itself
The Green Machine gave everything & left nothing on the shelf.
This week's a different story, although the injury list keeps growing
Scott is out, the Horse no good, Oldfield's done a hamstring
So the men in green bring out a team that needs some introduction
Who's Kai O'Donnell, Tom Starling, not to mention Ryan Sutton?
A new backline with Semi Valemei and Smith-Shields in the game
In-form Jack Wighton, Jarrod Croker, and Charnze Nicoll-Klokstad coming of age,
The only reason I started this verse was so I could try the following line:
Valemei and CNK join up for a Semi-Charnze kind of life.
with still half the year to go
It reminds me of the Knights' season
not even too long ago.
The Dogs seemed set to buck the trend
After pushing the Saints to the limits
But still lost last week in an unloseable way
only playing for 79 minutes.
The Knights will push to cement their spot
and the Bulldogs aren't much of a test
The Knights just need Ponga to fire again,
and to get Bradman back to his Best.
within the sacred C-bus lines
the best I think we can hope for
is to say that "at least Gold Coast tried."
"They played for eighty minutes
and played through the game with pride!
They played their fucken guts out."
Alas, the Gold Coast died.
you natter that the betting is much better at Parramatta."
Now he's fitter and he's better, standing next to King Clint Gutherson.
North Queensland Cowboys vs Manly Sea Eagles
Coach Paul Green given his pink slipand now he's looking kind of blue.
Caught red-handed, in black and white
Fed by silver spoon.
No rose-coloured glasses, or shades of grey
for the yellow-bellied Cows
True colours shine or white flags out for new coach Josh Hannay.
Brisbane Broncos vs Melbourne Storm
From a five year plan to a five game dealTo save the Broncos' game
He's switching 1s and 2s and 5s
But the results are all the same.
Can Siebold pluck a winner
from the mighty Melbourne Storm?
Fuck no. Not likely. Snowball's chance.
At least til Boyd is gone.
New Zealand Warriors vs St George Dragons
Warriors are worriers there's no worries there to seeBut there's worries that the Warriors can get worse from week to week
We wonder if the Warriors will worry any team
Or if the worst and waning Warriors will wake and Mary weep?
Canberra Fucken Raiders WOO vs South Sydney Rabbitohs
No one gave the Raiders even a snifter of a chanceto win the weekend's rematch of last year's biggest dance
With Bateman gone and Hodgson's knee inverted on itself
The Green Machine gave everything & left nothing on the shelf.
This week's a different story, although the injury list keeps growing
Scott is out, the Horse no good, Oldfield's done a hamstring
So the men in green bring out a team that needs some introduction
Who's Kai O'Donnell, Tom Starling, not to mention Ryan Sutton?
A new backline with Semi Valemei and Smith-Shields in the game
In-form Jack Wighton, Jarrod Croker, and Charnze Nicoll-Klokstad coming of age,
The only reason I started this verse was so I could try the following line:
Valemei and CNK join up for a Semi-Charnze kind of life.
Newcastle Knights vs Canterbury Bulldogs
Well the Dogs look like they've wrapped up the spoonwith still half the year to go
It reminds me of the Knights' season
not even too long ago.
The Dogs seemed set to buck the trend
After pushing the Saints to the limits
But still lost last week in an unloseable way
only playing for 79 minutes.
The Knights will push to cement their spot
and the Bulldogs aren't much of a test
The Knights just need Ponga to fire again,
and to get Bradman back to his Best.
Gold Coast Titans vs Penrith Panthers
I'm envisaging a bloodbathwithin the sacred C-bus lines
the best I think we can hope for
is to say that "at least Gold Coast tried."
"They played for eighty minutes
and played through the game with pride!
They played their fucken guts out."
Alas, the Gold Coast died.
 |
| There's an illegal tackle in here somewhere |
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